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Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season 2: Episode 17, Deception Part 1

by dark


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

"Jakey, where are we going?" Flannery asked groggily. "You promised me you wouldn't make me spy on anyone again."

"I'm not, so keep quiet!" Jake tightened his grip on her wrist. "Trust me, this is for you own good!"

Jake transformed and grabbed Flannery with his talons, inflicting a small cut on her cheek. He flew as fast as he could to the outskirts of the western side of Fearahu. He glided to the ground and dropped Flannery on the lawn in front of an abandoned building. Jake transformed back in mid air, landed next to her and forcefully grabbed her by both wrist. He dragged her into the building and locked the rusty metal door behind them. The single room was only lit by a single flickering light bulb.

"Jake, LET ME GO!!" Flannery screamed. Jake obeyed as he had never seen her like that. "Talk to me, what's going on, really?"

"Nee-Nee, I am owed a debt, okay? You know how I am with these things." Jake breathed. 

"Yes, I know. You always expect to be payed back when you do something little for anyone." Flannery was steaming now. "Wait, that girl you had me spying on... Does she "owe" you something? Jake, you're a teal slimeball, you know that? Always dragging people into your petty problems. Why are you such a control freak? Not everything will turn out well for you!

"That girl does owe me. But this time it's different. She thinks its because she asked me to walk her home when she was scared." Jake sighed. "But the truth is... Ugh, she broke my heart, okay? She has to pay for hurting me like this. I can't keep my cool anymore, and now that she's with her family, they can all pay, too. Even that Ryan Sparker guy!"

"She's related to Ryan? Oh no, Jason..." Flannery gasped.

"Who's Jason?" Jake asked.

"He's my boyfriend and according to him, Ryan is his older brother." Flannery began to tear up. "You can't hurt them, you just can't!"

"Sorry, you can't change my mind." Jake shook his head. "After I'm done with that triple legendary, I'm going after that entire family!" He cupped Flannery's face and stared into her eyes with his now glowing ones.

"Jakey, please, don't do this." She pleaded before falling to the ground in a deep sleep.

"Good ol' Hypnosis." Jake smirked.

----

Jason greeted Pan and dashed out the door. "I hope Flannery doesn't mind me showing up so early." He said to himself. "Nah, she won't. She'll be so happy." It took Jason only twenty minutes to run all the way to her apartment building. He skipped three steps with each bound as he made his way to her room. He knocked on the door and waited for her to answer. Then he remember what she told him when they met. If you come early and the door is unlocked then just wait for me inside, but if I'm not there don't wait for over ten minutes, okay? He opened the door and went inside. He smiled as the scent of fire blossoms hit him. "Oh Sweet Heat... Where could you be?" Jason did as he was instructed and waited for ten minutes. "I guess she's really busy today..." Jason sighed and made his way back home.

----

"Ryan, I think there's something up with Jason." Pan said.

"Right..." I growled. "Why do you think that?"

"Well, when I spoke to him last night, he said he had no idea who I was. I thought all of us had premonitions about our family. How come Jason doesn't?" Pan asked with obvious concern in her voice. "By the way, sorry for waking you."

"It's fine, I don't need to sleep much anyway. I can't tell you why he didn't know. Maybe he has his mind focused on a cute girl or something. That might block his  premonitions. Just let him be." I told her. I sat up and let the sheets fall from my shoulders.

"Wow, Ryan. You're a buff guy. You should walk around shirtless more often." Pan smirked.

"Ha! You think I'm buff? No, silly, I'm nowhere near that, but strong, yes. All of my strength is within me, unlike everyone else, so I don't develop muscles." I laughed. I closed my eyes and sparks flew around me for a split second, scaring Pan off her feet.

"What was that for?" She yelled.

"What? I was putting a shirt on."

"Oh.. What else do you do in crazy ways?"

"Pretty much everything, Pan." I helped her to her up. "Get used to it so I don't have to help you up from the ground anymore. If you need me, I'll be taking a bath."

"Wait, why do you even take baths anymore? Don't you know that you don't have to?" Pan questioned.

"I know, I've always known." I said. "Unlike humans, we don't necessarily have to bathe since we don't get dirty naturally like they do, but we do it for the same reason they do things like eat, sleep, and battle."

"And what reason would that be?"

"Pleasure, silly. Oh, Pan, you are clueless, girl." I chuckled. "This world practically thrives on pleasure."

"Hey, I'm in the dark about a lot of things, okay?" She smiled, nervously. "So, uh, mind if I join you?"

"Be my guest. Just know that tend to bathe in boiling hot water."

"WHAT? JUST HOW POWERFUL ARE YOU?" Pan screamed. "Oh, sorry about that. Seriously though, can't you get burned or dry out your skin?"

"One, my skin can't dry out, and two, I can get burned, but only by somebody's attacks. Well, thats in a different sense because being burned in a status ailment. Regular water can't harm me at all." Pan focused on me as she took in every bit of information. "Anyway, there's more than one tub in this house, so you can still do whatever it is you plan on doing."

"But if it's not with you, where's the pleasure in that?" Pan asked, mockingly.

"Hmm... Well said, Panara." I began to walk past her when she stopped me.

"Tell me something. Why did you put on a shirt if you were just going to take it off again?" She asked.

"You're just full of questions this morning. If you must know, I did it so you'd stop staring. Not that I was flattered , but so I could stop you before you started drooling."

"I was not staring!" She pouted.

"Really, then why are you blushing so hard?" I gave her a playful nudge and walked off. "Hey Cristina."

"Hi Ryan." Cristina answered, stepping aside so I could leave. She sidled up next to Pan and shook her a bit. "Hey, what's the matter? Your cheeks look like pecha berries before they're ripe."

"Ryan's not oblivious. I think he knows..."

"Well, if you keep on blushing like that any man is bound to know." Cristina laughed. "Are you doing anything today?"

"Nah, I'll be here all day." Pan answered. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah, actually." Cristina said, sheepishly. "See a few days ago, we all went out and had a ton of battles. I still have a lot of money left over from that day, so would you come shopping with me? It's enough for both of us to shop."

"Of course I will."Pan smile, noticing her expression. "What, did you think I'd say no?"

"No, but, I've never been shopping before."

"Really?" Pan exclaimed with a shocked expression. "What did you do before Ryan came along?"

"Well, I was shrunk down to size inside of a hostile toyshop for as long as I remember-"

"Forget I asked." Pan interrupted. "Let's just go. I know a huge department store where we can get some cute looking clothes for the both of us!" The two of them bounded down the stairs, nearly knocking each other over when they saw Jason in the doorway.

"Oh, hey you two." He said glumly.

Cristina pushed her way past Pan and put her hands on Jason's shoulders. "Something wrong?" She asked. "Just this morning you were all smiles when you left."

"Ugh, I'm sorry. It's just the person I was going to see wasn't home." He answered. "I was really hoping to see her."

"Um, Cristina, mind if I wait outside?" Pan interrupted.

"No, go ahead." She replied. Pan skipped past them and went outside. "You said "she", Jason. Who were you talking about?"

"My girlfriend, Flannery." Jason sobbed. "This has never happened, ever. The more I think about her the more I worry."

"Aw, Jason, you have to wait. You can't be hasty with girls." Cristina said. "I know deep down you really are concerned, but once you see her again, you'll be perfectly fine; I just know you will."

"How do you know, Cristina?" Jason question with his longing blue eyes.

"Well I'm a girl aren't I?" Cristina smiled. "Don't worry about it, kay? Why don't you head back when you know she'd be at home and make sure to leap into her arms to add some extra spice!"

Jason returned her smile. "Now you're just being silly."

"Yeah, but as a result, I got to see your lovely smile." Cristina exclaimed and quickly bounded out the door.

"Well I'm a girl aren't I?" Jason repeated with a chuckle. "Ah, I have such an awesome family..."

"I'm sure you do, Jason." Said a growling voice. Jason spun around with a hop but was instantly punched to the ground, knocking him unconscious. Jake shook his hand and hissed. "Dammit, that kinda hurt." He whispered. "Alright, time to get serious."

----

Flannery woke up tied to a creaky wooden support beam. She shook her head and began sobbing.

"Sweet Heat, don't cry..." Jason sobbed next to her, tied to the same beam.

"Jay-Jay, how are you here? What did Jake do to you?" Flannery cried.

"Shh, we'll be alright. Ryan will save us, I just know it." Jason reassured her.

"Don't be so sure, kid." Jake chuckled, stepping into the faint light. "The last time we spoke, he didn't seem to suspect a thing! For such a notorious guy, he's a complete dim wit."

"Don't talk about his brother like that!" Flannery screamed.

"Hold on a sec..." Jason said. He looked up at Jake. "He didn't look the slightest bit suspicious?"

"Well, I'll admit, he didn't let his guard down until I fooled him." Jake burst into a fit of laughter. "I can't wait to see the look on his face we he finally clues in. That is if he ever does!"

"Jake stop! You're making him mad!" Flannery yelled. She felt the rope heat up where their wrist met. Jason's fists developed themselves in first and burning the rope to nothing in seconds. He leaped up and sucker punched Jake to the ground.

"A scumbag like you is in no place to mock the most powerful Pokemon to ever live!" Jason yelled, his eyes glowing brighter than ever as his anger grew.

"Well, well, where's all this sudden anger coming from? It's because deep down, you know it's true. You can tell that I'm being truthful can't you?" Jake stood up and cringed as he touched the searing welt on his face. "Yeah, you can. You're Reshiram; you live for truth. Well, listen and listen well! Your brother is a fool, and there's nothing you can do to change that, Jason. Why do you think I kidnapped you? I was testing Ryan, and he failed! He can't even notice when his little brother is missing for four hours! Tell you what: I'm gonna let you two go. I'm sick and tired of waiting for Ryan to come here. You'll tell him where I am will you?"

"Jay-Jay, let's get out of here!" Flannery stood up to touch his arm and was burned by the heat of his skin. She whimpered but tried to ignore it.  Jason payed her no mind and raised his first to deliver another blow to Jake's belly. "I can't let him become violent...." Flannery thought. Disregarding the pain she'd receive, she pulled Jason into her arms and kissed him slowly, catching him off guard. She felt his body cool off and held herself there even after Jason returned to normal.

"Hmm, I do have a brave sister, don't I?" Jake thought as he looked on. He shook his head and left them alone to go deeper into the building. "It's a shame that this is all Pan's fault. I can't wait to see her in a downward spiral when her family suffer because of her petty lies."

Flannery pulled away from Jason and held his hands. "I don't want you to become violent when you don't have to be, baby." She whispered. "We'll have our chance to get back at him for all of this, but for now, we have to run."

Jason opened his eyes and smiled. "He who learns to run away will live to fight another day, right?"

"Right on, Jay-Jay. Let's go, we have to tell Ryan. Knowing Jake, he won't stop after all this." Jason followed Flannery out of the building and they ran towards to city together.

"Why would he be doing this anyway?" Jason asked.

"Ugh, why does my big brother have to be such an awful person?" Flannery sighed. "I think it's to get back at that girl with the red hair and red eyes he was spying on. Maybe she's related to you..."

"Panara!" Jason exclaimed. "It turns out she's my sister. What could she have done to him?"

"I dunno. After we warn Ryan I think we should pay her a visit."

"Before Jake attacked me, she was going shopping with my other sister. They should be home by now..."

----

"Cristina, if I didn't tell you sooner, you would have gotten twelve pairs of the exact same outfit?" Pan laughed as she pushed the door open. "You really haven't been shopping before."

"I told you, that's normal girl stuff. Stuff I know little about." Cristina answered. "Besides they were all different colors."

"Oh baby, you're too funny. Whatever, I'm all tired out." Panara plopped herself on a couch. "How can you still be full of energy if you're not a normal child?"

"I sleep so much, haven't you noticed?" Cristina giggled. "Don't worry about it. I really appreciate you taking me out today."

Jason burst through the door, making it slam against the wall. "Guys, where's Ryan?"

"I'm right here, kid." I said, nonchalantly as I made my way downstairs. "What's up?"

"Jake, that's what!" Jason yelled. "How come you didn't suspect anything of him? Didn't you notice he kidnapped me?" Jason attempted to shove me no avail. "And you, Panara!" He pointed in her direction. "It's your fault he's stirring up trouble!"

"Jason!" I roared. "Shut up for a second and listen to yourself! You come in here blaming people before you even explain the situation! I'm really trying to keep me cool here, so do not make me hurt you..."

"Fine." Jason scowled. "All I know is that he said he spoke to you before, and I have reason to believe that he kidnapped me and my girlfriend to get back at Pan for something. He wanted to us to make sure that you know where he's holding out. He was at an abandoned building outside of the city, but I've got a sinking feeling that he followed us instead."

"That bastard just won't quit!" Pan shouted. "I \'m putting an end to this right now!" She leap from the couch and stomped outside. We followed her and watched her look in the sky.

"What are you doing?" Jason asked he looked around. "Oh no, where's Flannery?"

"Where was she last?" Cristina asked, with clear concern.

"Right here!"

We looked up and found the source of the voice. Jake was no more than ten meters away holding Flannery in his arm, choking her when she tried to move. "You know, I'm not above killing my own sister, but I dare you to test me!"

"Jake, what the hell do you want from me?" Pan yelled walking towards him. "This can't be about a silly favor, so what is it?"

"So clueless. You don't believe in guys holding grudges?" Jake answered with obvious strain in his voice.

"Jakey, please, don't hurt anyone..." Flannery cried.

"SHUT UP!" He screamed. "I hate you, just plain hate you. You think I'm cruel? You shattered my heart!"

"Oh Jake, I'm sorry things didn't really work out between us, but you're overreacting." Pan tried to calm him. "You don't have to make anyone suffer, but if you really need to, punish me. Look at you, scaring your little sister to death. Remember when you used to talk about her non-stop? Remember how much you loved her? Don't throw all of that away, please?"

"Sorry, sister." Jake growled. "When you hurt me, you took my last bit of sympathy away. Know this, Pan: Everything that I do after this... IS YOUR FAULT!"

He conjured a spear made of a black orb in his palm and stabbed Flannery's neck.


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1334 Reviews


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Fri Jul 04, 2014 2:01 pm
Hannah wrote a review...



Hey, Dark!

Huh. It sucks that Jake doesn't even care that he'd hurt Flannery by messing with Jason's family.

I do wanna say something about this section:

"Well I'm a girl aren't I?" Jason repeated with a chuckle. "Ah, I have such an awesome family..."


So I feel like one of the things that has made reading through this whole story just a little bit strange for me was the awkward dialogue that sometimes comes out, and I think I finally found a way we can both check for it and hopefully get rid of it. See, in this example, I am pretty sure nobody would ever stand by themselves and say to themselves, "Wow, I have such a great life and great family." They might say it to somebody else after telling a story and kind of realizing it, and wanting to talk about it in front of the other person, but not alone. Just like nobody would talk about their own hair color, eye color, etc., because they'd just be thinking about it or know it.

And look, when you see Jason repeat what Cristina said and laugh about it, you know what his emotion is. You know he's feeling joyful and happy, so you know he loves Cristina. She's his family, so on some level you also know he thinks his family is awesome. This is what people talk about when they say show and don't tell. Don't worry about telling, Dark! Show through natural dialogue and actions how people feel and leave out the awkward hard-to-believe self talking like that. :)

I loved the moment Flannery kissed Jason to cool him down. I feel like that's the first genuine action of love I've read in this story! :)

Um, okay, but why would you do that to me right before hurting her?!!?!??!!?

Obviously I'm counting on you to save the day and save Flannery. But I have also been thinking that the TV shows where everyone always lives eventually don't feel as awesome because we know they'll live and never be in danger of losing them. Maybe a death would be important to building emotion here??

Anyways, questions or comments in a reply or PM as always!

Good luck and keep writing! :)

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530 Reviews


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Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:05 am
Renard wrote a review...



Hello.

At first, I had my doubts as to how you were going to write about this.
After reading it however, I completely understand XD
And you did a good job.
However, I would say that this chapter is REALLLLLLLLLLY long. Long enough to be two chapters :D
So consider breaking that up maybe to make it more manageable for the readers
Hmm, this Jakey kid is a bit... well: loud? With all the exlcamatives dotted around in this piece I feel it gets a bit overdone at certain points.
Not necessarily a completely bad thing, just something I noticed.

I did enjoy this.
You have something interesting about your writing that I can't decide what it is.
:)




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Fri Jul 04, 2014 2:44 am
dark says...



One of my favorite moments. :twisted:





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