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Young Writers Society


16+ Language Violence Mature Content

Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season 2: Episode 4, Feelings Toward Fearahu... Part 2

by dark


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

We continued to fly for several minutes before the clouds started to let up.

"Has anyone realized that the clouds seem to be going away?"

"Yeah. There are neer that many cloud in the Abstrar Region."

"How come?"

"This part of the world just doesn't have that much water vapor in the air to form a lot of clouds. That's why the tempature is never to high or too low."

"Wow, no wonder so many people love it there. How far away from it are we?"

"We should see it soon. It's sometimes a bustling place in the afternoon, so it's quite noticeable."

"Ooo! I can't wait!"

••••

"Alex, they're gone now."

"What do you mean?! I thought you had Ryan trapped! You were wasting all of that time trying to kill the little girl weren't you?"

"Alex, they both got out, and now they're probably in another region by now."

"Dammit, Donna!" Alex screamed. "You keep messing everything up!"

"So why haven't you made your move yet!? You've kept your lie about being Ryan's cousin running for too long. It's either you kill him or I will."

"I'll be the first to do so. Just you wait." Alex disapeared in the shadows or Donna's dark home.

"He better..." She mumbled.

••••

We slowly crept up on Fearahu City as the day went on. The brisk breeze of the Abstar Region slowly began to form as we inched closer.

"Zekrom, land here." He slowed his pace and steadily sand down into the clouds and through the bottom of them.

"Wow!" Cristina gawked. "Thought buildings are even larger than the ones in Rustboro." She pointed to the large sky scrapers in the middle of the city.

"We're here. Finally."

Zekrom landed in an empty dead end street. The sides of the roads were plied with nieboring houses. On the right side, one house stood father part from others. I jumped off of Zekrom's back and helped Jason and Cristina off.

"So, which house is ours, Ryan?" Jason asked with tired eyes.

I pointed to the separated house. The house was huge, standing four stories tall. The beautiful outside walls were painted smoke black.

"That. Looks. Awesome." Jason yawned staring out the building.

"Yeah, it only took me two days to build it."

"Two days?!"

Yeah, I had some other things to do in the middle of building s it took an extra day."

"No I mean you built it so quickly! It usually takes a week to build a house this well."

Well, I do have the ability to move very fast while still carri building materials so that played a big part in the construction."

"That makes sense now that I think about it." Cristina said. "Come on! Lets check it out!"

I threw them keys to the house and they ran inside to explore their new home.

"They look very happy." Zekrom whispered.

"Yeah, while they are having fun together, we can explore the world some world some more. maybe even find the other missing pieces of our family." I answered.

"Do you really think there's more to the Sparker family?"

"Of course I do, when I had that first dream, I saw more than just two people. I saw so many others. So there's definetly going to be more to come."

"We'll, well just have to find out won't we?"

"Yes we will. Now come on. I don't want to have to cooped up inside of my body all of the time. You Giritina and Arceus are fine without me, so I'll just release you in the room I made for you guys."

"One question, how did you find out how to release us anyway?"

"Simple. I just channeled all of my energy together and threw it all out at once. I was actually trying to use Discharge to dry up a lake but instead, you three were released from my body. I don't know why it happened then. Maybe I didn't need you to be inside any longer."

"Well, it doesn't really matter right now. The whole world now knows that it's possible to be more than one Pokemon."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Now that the world knows, others will be expirimenting with their own powers and it might cause chaos."

"Zekrom, please. The people of this planet are far to civilized to do so thing like that. No now really cares that you can be more than one Pokemon. Remeber, when that happened, the construction crew just though that it was a great power and they spread the word. That was when I was 10."

"I am just worried, Ryan. what if they turn out like the humans?"

"Stop sputtering nonsense. I only created that other planet because someone bet me that I couldn't creat worlds. After I created their world, I dismembered thousands of human bodies, examined their anatomy, and munched on their flesh to what they tasted like after I was done expirimenting on them. They only tasted good when baked. They were idiotic beings."

"Yes they were, and quite frankly, some people on this planet do stupid things too."

"Yes, but they are smart enough to know how far to take things. The humans had leaders and laws and even a special law of morality. The people of this world can live without those just fine, you don't have to worry about them ending up like the humans." I answered. "Why do you think I made their planet explode and disintegrate into nothing? Because the human's were pointless. The human forms that people have always been using have useful for deversity in this world. That's really all I can think of to use them for."

"Who knew my humanoid form could be so twisted?"

"Would you hurry up and get back into my body?!" I commanded, "I want to spend a little more time with the kids."

"Just be warned. Anyone who is a a tiny threat to us, is the ultimate threat to them. Keep them safe."

"I have always bared that in mind." I said, placing an hand on Zekrom's wing. He slowly dissolved into electricity and absorbed into my body.

"Ugh, I'm as tired as a Teddiursa in the winter...." I yawned. I trudged into the house and closed the door behind me. The hard wood floor shone in the faint light that came through the windows that were covered with blinds.

I walked up to the fourth floor and pulled my Vault key out of my back pocket. I stuck it into the keyhole on the side of the door. The door slowly creaked open. I stepped halfway into the doorway and held my arm out.

"You know what to do..." I yawned. There was no response. "Come on, get out! You know how to do it yourselves!"

Zekrom, Giritina, and Arceus surged out of my body it a spiral of energy. "Took you long enough."

Giritina roared and explored the large dark room. Zekrom hunkered down to the ground and closed and eyes. Arceus just stood in the back and stared at me.

"Are you going to leave?" Zekrom said with a loud voice.

Without a word, I twisted the key to the left, closing the large metal door. I shoved the key back into my back pocket and walked back downstairs. To the second floor bedroom. Cristina was plopped into a bed next to Jason who was sound asleep. She was breathing as if she had just ran for hours. I climbed onto the bed and sat next to her with me back against the wall.

"So, how did you like the house?" I asked.

"Oh Ryan, it's wonderful!" She exclaimed. "Thanks for giving me such a wonderful home."

"It's my pleasure, Cristy." I smiled.

"You're giving me nicknames now?"

"Are you okay with that?"

"I'm fine with it."

"Great. Are you tired as well?"

"Yeah, I never knew flying for one hour could be so tiring. Also since was running around the place, that makes me even more tired."

"Okay, sleep well. I'm tired too."

"Wait,"

"What is it?"

"Could I sleep on your lap?"

"Okay, Come on."

She climbed onto my lap and rested her head on my chest. I wrapped my myself around her as she slowly fell asleep.

I never thought she'd be this happy just to be loved. Heh, it's a wonderful feeling to keep her happy.

••••

"Are you sure were at the right place, Donna?"

"I'm sure of it you idiot." She grunted. "I saw Ryan land here, and it's obvious that he lives in that house. Only a man with absolutely no sense of fashion would paint their house black. Bleh! It looks so unprofessional. I have to admit the paint is perfect but the color..."

"Forget about the color." Alex interrupted. "We spent an hour following them, I'm not about to let you ruin my revenge."

"I thought you said that revenge was a stupid reason to fight."

"True, but this is different. Elec was my friend, even if I never showed it. After Ryan almost killed him, nine years ago, I made it my duty to avenge that son of a bitch."

"So you dragged me all the way over here and made me send countless amounts of my students after him just to get revenge?!"

"Yes, and it's working."

"Hmm? How so?"

"Ryan actually thinks I'm apart of his family. Thanks to his wonderfully tasting dreams, I was able to fool him,"

"...By telling him that you saw him in a dream of your own."

"Exactly. while I was trying to eat his dream, he caught a glimpse of me and thought that I was apart of the dream. It all went as planned, and now, he's going to die. But before I can kill him, I must have a taste of his dreams once more." Alex's eye glowed red as his voice shifted into a maniacal slur.

"So you want to eat his dreams, then kill him?"

"Ooh, yes, not just his, but that sister of his as well, Heheheheheh.." Alex cackled. "I bet her lips will taste as good as her dreams!"

"Alex, you are so, creepy.. What kind of Pokemon are you?"

"I am a Gengar, you fool. As long as I can get my hands of them, I'll be satisfied. Especially her.. Mwhuhuhu..

"Did I mention that you're slightly perverted? I may hate Ryan, but I'm not going to stand by as you put your dirty little hands on that girl. I may want to kill her for invading the solitude of my toy shop, but I don't want her to be traumatized, you sick bastard. I'm not heartless like you."

"Oh, shut up and let's go."

Alex showy sank into the shadow of the house the two were hiding behind. He left an opening in the shadow of Donna to crawl through. She jumped into the hole and came out beside Alex inside of my house. The portal closed behind them and returned to a regular shadow.

"Alex, your eyes are going to give us away. Cool it will you?"

"I can't stop now, I must have just one taste!"

"Shhhh! Alright! You can have you little dream snack, but remeber why we're here. We have to kill Ryan, and get out."

"Mmmm, a lot more than that is going to happen..."

Alex phased into a shadow, and slid across the ground. He made his way towards the bed, Cristina and I were sleeping on. He slid across my arm in his shadow form and hopped onto Cristina. She started to whimper as he hissed in the darkness thrust himself into Cristina's mind.

"Oh no. Alex is taking this too far already!" Donna whispered to herself. "I should have never joined him."

••••

"Ooo, what a tasty dream!" Alex, exclaimed. "I haven't even had a bite yet, but I can taste it! Either, I'm becoming more powerful, or this girl's dream is overwhelming."

Cristina's dream world was a forest with the sun shining through every tree. Alex saw her playing with the other Pokemon that lived there. And me.

"Alex! I yelled. "What are you doing here?"

"Ryan? Oh, nothing, I was just having a snack."

"Cristina, wait here, okay?" I said, to her.

"Okay, then."

I walked towards Alex, he stepped behind a tree so Cristina could see him.

"Why are you inside of our dream?"

"Our? Ah, you and your sister are already so close that you can enter her dreams without scaring her?"

"You haven't answered my question."

"Honestly I just wanted to see what her dreams tasted like."

"Dammit Alex, I told you to stop doing that. You're going to scare her. She doesn't know this is a dream."

"I can't just stop like that, Ryan. It's in my nature. Just like being evil is in yours."

"That's not what I mean. You have been really dodgy with your dream eating. Why only target the dreams of little girls?"

"Because the dreams of children are tastier than that of adults. The dreams of young girls are the sweetest. Heh heh."

"That's it, get out."

"I'm not going to leave so easily, Ryan. Two dreams merged together is something I can't miss out on. It's so strong here that I can taste the air of this dream. It's taste like a macaroon dipped in creamy vanilla."

"Alex, don't make me have to rip you out of here."

"Fine, fine. But the next time she dreams, I'm not going to leave so easily."

"We'll, then, are you going to go?"

"Hehe... No!" His eyes flashed red as he threw a knife made of shadows at my neck. I stepped out of the path of this knife and it landed stuck in a tree right next to Cristina. The dream world shuddered and turned into the completely darkness. The dream ended.

Cristina woke up from the dream and stared at me. She was still sitting at my lap.

"That was strange." She thought. "I'm suddenly wide awake. Ugh, I must have had a bad dream or something." Shewalked downstairs to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She took a big gulp of the water before reacting from a tap of of her shoulder. She let out a scream but Jason covered her mouth before she could take too much noise.

"Cristina, it's just me!" He whispered, pulling his hand from her face.

"Jason!" She exclaimed. "You scared me."

"I'm sorry, but I was worried. I just woke up and I saw that you were gone."

"I just got up. I'm wide awake weirdly enough."

"Oh, well okay then. I was just concerned Thats all."

"I appreciate it but I'm fi-"

"Shh, hold on. I hear footsteps."

Donna was walking about on the in the same room that they were in, she was just around the corner before she stopped to listen to them talking.

"They stopped." Cristina whispered. "I'll go check it out."

"I'm coming with you."

"After you then."

Jason walked ahead of her a right past Donna who blended in with the shadows before she was spotted. Cristina followed behind him until he stopped at the stairs.

"Wait here, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see what's up. If someone's inside then I don't want you getting hurt."

"Jason be carful."

"I'll be fine, Cristina. Chances are its just a Patratt looking for something to munch on. If not then, I'll deal with it."

"And what if you can't?"

"It doesn't matter if I can hold my own against an intruder or not. You're forgetting that we have Ryan."

"Alright, but please, be careful."

Cristina watched as Jason slowly made his way upstairs. She turned sound to head back into the kitchen but Donna quickly slugged her before she could take a single step, almost knocking her unconscious. She caugh her before she could fall down and make any noise.

"Heh heh, I have got you now."

Cristina blinked and looked up at her.

"What do you want?"

"That's all, little girl."

"Huh... I- I thought you wanted me dead..."

"Ugh, clearly. I've given it some thought. Why the hell would I kill a little girl? That's just sick. The lest I could do was lunch you. Now tha that's out of the way, I want to help."

"You're a really twisted woman, and I still don't know who you are. Really I don't want to know, but... I'll let it slide, this time. Man, I think that lunch may have made me crazy enough to trust you."

"Look I'm sorry about everything before. Please helping you is the least I can do. I don't want to feel guilty if you get hurt."

"So there is someone here that's here to do something bad, isn't there?"

"Yes, and he's probably inside of Ryan's head right now. He's this freak that eats dreams."

"That must have been the person who made me wake up so suddenly. I think Ryan was in my dream too, but something happens that caused me to leave, or in this case, wake up. Maybe Ryan knew I was in danger and he made me wake up. I don't know, all I remeber was everything ging dark before I woke up. It was as if I just had my eyes closed but I wasn't dreaming."

"Probably. In that case, Ryan is fighting him, inside of his own head, right now. This isn't going to end well..."


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41 Reviews


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Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:13 pm
TwinkleStar wrote a review...



Hi. No wonder I was confused about episode 5. Now things are finally clear to me. I think it's going pretty good and like I've said before, your way of planning out the scenes has matured a little. It was a long but fun read with lots of dialogues.

I liked the dream part a lot. I had no idea they could merge dreams. That's something new. Actually, it seems like ANYTHING is possible in the pokemon world. Ryan is able to make a house in one day. He owns three different pokemon and all that time I thought he was Zekrom. How can he be three pokemon at the same time? And I think you should add the events themselves rather than just putting most of it in dialogues. Your dialogues are pretty good but at times the reader needs to see and not hear.

For example, the event with Ryan possessing three pokemon that came out when he tried to dry a lake when he was ten, that's something you should mention instead of putting it in a dialogue. Not just that, other things, when you write further, make sure to not include everything in dialogues.

Anyway, apart from that, it was a pretty nice chapter. I like the fact that the brother and sisterly relationship between all three of them is strengthening to the point that they each worry about each other for the slightest things. The way Jason worried when he found Christina missing. And they have reasons to worry. Enemies. I liked Jason a lot, being the youngest, he still acts like Ryan did when he was little. Being protective about people and all.

I do understand that Alex wants to take revenge but I had no idea he was THAT close to Elec. He said so himself that he wanted to see the day when Ryan himself kills Elec. You did a great job of finally revealing this guy's personality. He is as creepy as the ghostly side of his, and a pervert. He's evil and seems to be a lot more clever than the rest of the enemies that Ryan has faced so far. I wonder how this'll turn out.

Keep writing. =]




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:30 pm
Hannah wrote a review...



I'm here for the last piece!

The first question I had while reading this was: how on earth can he afford the building materials? How can he afford the land to build it on? I think giving some details about that would make the scene seem more real. :)

The whole world now knows that it's possible to be more than one Pokemon."


Whew. There's the explanation I was looking for, but it comes way too late! This should be explained earlier on when the concept is first introduced. I love that there's a story behind it -- though I wonder why he was trying to dry up a lake...? It would be cool if that was where he'd built the house! haha

He made his way towards the bed, Cristina and I were sleeping on. He slid across my arm in his shadow form and hopped onto Cristina. She started to whimper as he hissed in the darkness thrust himself into Cristina's mind.


Okay! So, for the other parts where you've had to follow other characters (like when you saw Elec and the other time we were with just Alex and the lady), I wasn't bothered by it, but this section weirds me out. Do you know why? Because Ryan's describing the scene while he's sleeping. I think you need to rework this to not use the first person, because if he's sleeping, how can he know what other people are doing? And if he knows what other people are doing, he'd wake up and stop it, right?

Also, Alex just saying he basically wants to molest Cristina is nowhere near as creepy as it would be if you just implied it. Maybe something more subtle like "I want to get close to all the members of that family..." and his eyes wander over her or something. Know what I mean?

Man, I think that lunch may have made me crazy enough to trust you."

"Look I'm sorry about everything before. Please helping you is the least I can do. I don't want to feel guilty if you get hurt."


Uh oh! Here's another one of those times when a character has a really sudden change of heart for no reason. Here, you blame it on a lunch. Ack! I think this moment would mean more if you gave it more reason or time.

Ahh. I am waiting to see what happens and if Alex finally reveals himself.
Please let me know if you have any questions about my reviews. (:
Keep writing!




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:11 pm
Lava wrote a review...



Hi there!

So I decided to check this out since I like Pokemon (I used to adore/follow it years back Anyway, happy review day, and my comments on this:

So, one of the first things that strikes me is how HEAVY this entire text is with dialogue. With that, I wanted to see if it was this was something related to a script, but, no it isn't.

So, problems with the dialogue, well the first few lines had no dialogue tags (he said, she said) at all; and it is easy to throw off any potential reader. It's so confusing to figure out what's going on, how many people are talking etc. Even in the rest of the text, there was a lot of tags missing = confusion. You don't want to send the reader thinking everytime someone speaks.
Second, a lot of it doesn't seem entirely natural. But that's secondary considering how you need to describe the characters and the setting more to us. Make us feel connected to the story.

The plotline from as far as I could grasp from this chapter seems intriguing enough. I just wish there was more description, character development and narration amidst all this talk.

Cheers!




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Sun Jul 28, 2013 1:32 am
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dark says...



"This is not going to end well..."
Pokemon Ultimate Evolution cast.
MWUHUHUHUHU!





Education is education. We should learn everything and then choose which path to follow. Education is neither Eastern or Western; it is human.
— Malala