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Pokemon Ultimate Evolution Season 2: Episode 5, Mansion Spidar

by dark

"Oh Ryan, you are absolutely idiotic."

"As, if. You think you can kill my inside of my own head? For someone who eats dreams, you should know a lot more."

Alex arched a brow with a puzzled look of his face.

"What in the world do you mean?" He asked, angrily.

"You're even more stupid than I thought. The only way for someone from this world to die is for them to be killed by someone else, however, you cannot use an environment that they hatched with against them, nor can you kill them inside of it. Dream worlds count with this little quirk."

"Oo..." Alex groaned. "How unlucky of me. No matter really, you may be able to move really fast, but..." His eyes flashed with an even brighter red hue. "You aren't a shadow, like I am!!!"

The dark dream world we were inside of began to fade away as I slowly began to wake.

"How..." I grunted. "How could you wake me up from here?"

"Unluckily for you, you're sleeping inside of a dark room. Nothing can escape me in the darkness." He laughed.

The darkness around me shifted into the shape of hands. They slowly pulled me into it as I began to wake up

"Wake up, Sparky, you're having a bad dream!"

He disappeared in a more rapid fashion than he usually did. No time after, I had waken up, but not in my house where I was sleeping. I was somewhere unknown to me, lying on the ground and staring at the sky. The new moon sky was dark and filled with faint stars.

"Spaaarrky! Get up would you?"

"Where the hell did your little shadows take me too?" I yelled.

"You'll just have to find out for yourself, now won't you?!"

His voice echoed through the air. It was as if he was apart of the area. He was nowhere in sight, but I could hear his clearly. I quickly got to my feet and explored the area. Everything was dark, almost too dark for me to see directly in front of me.

As I walked father and father away from where I started, trees started to appear in the distance. I was clearly in some kind of dark forest. I could faintly see the lights and the silhouette of a incredibly large mansion.

That has to be where he's hiding...

I ran towards the mansion, through all of the now deformed looking trees. They were becoming more and more oddly shaped as I got closer the mansion.

^*^*^*^*^*^*^

"Ryan! "Jason whispered. "Ryan where are you?"

He searched the bed room for me. He tensed up as he realized that I was gone. "No, no, this isn't good. Where could he have gone?..."

He quickly ran back downstairs to the kitchen to find Cristina. He saw her with Donna and quickly hid around the corner before he was spotted.

"Is your brother still here?" Donna asked.

"He just went downstairs when we heard you footsteps." Cristina answered. "You're luckly you didn't give me a bruise from punching me or he would probably have been furious."

"That doesn't matter. We have to wake Ryan before its too late. I've seen what Alex can do, and if he doesn't wake up, then Alex will have to wake him himself."

"What's so bad about that?"

"If Alex disturbs a dream then the person dreaming is taken into some insane dark world. I got to see it first hand."

"There's no helping him now." Jason said, walking around the corner. "Ryan's not here."

"What do you mean?" Cristina gasped. "He's really gone?"

"I just checked. He's not here anymore."

"Damn, this isn't good!" Donna exclaimed. If Ryan gets lost, he'll be stuck in there forever."

"Yeah right, what makes you think that I'll believe anything you say?"

"I want to help you two. I didn't mean for all of this to happen."

"Just shut up already before I fry you to a crisp." Jason said angrily. "You think just because we're kids that we're stupid, don't you?"

"I'm telling you the truth." Donna said, holding her hands up in surrender. "If I didn't want to help you than I wouldn't still be here. I promise, after this is over, I'll be gone for good."

"I still don't trust you."

"Neither do I." Crsitina yelled. "You may not be as evil as I thought, but it's going to take a lot more than just a few kind gestures to make us believe you."

"Ugh, well whatever. I can't do anything but try and cheer you guys up. And I'm not leaving until Ryan comes back."

"Why do you even care, Donna!?" Jason yelled Ever since you came into the picture, you constantly sent people to attack him every chance you got."

"That's not important. I may dispise your brother but he was still a student of mine. Though he's twisted, practically insane, and was a real pain in the ass for me, but he was still the best student Tracey and I have ever seen. I believe that he can finish this, but it's going to take a while."

"How long exactly?"

"Alex's twisted world could only be discribed as a trap for the average Pokemon, but since Ryan might find the insanity comforting, he may be able to completely destroy Alex's home, thereby freeing him." Donna explained. "I only hope that I'm right."

"All of this sounds really dodgy, miss." Cristina said. "How does this Alex person have his own world anyway?"

"I honestly don't know how. Ghost types creep me out so much..." Donna shivered, twirling a gray highlight in her hair.

^*^*^*^*^*^*

I quickly came up to the mansion's large entrance. It was decorated with dark green vines and plants that expelled a bitter wet-plant odor that made my nose perk up. The large door was made completely out of glass, giving the impression that there was no door. There were drops of water from some previous rain and a lot of old stains of a dark grey blood on the other side of the glass.

That blood must belong to Alex, but what could have injured him here?...

I punched a hole into the glass door. The glass was very fragile, causing they entering thing to fall apart and shadder on the ground.

As I walked inside, the glass behind me reconstruted itself. After a few seconds it had looked like no different than how it looks before I destroyed it.

"There must be some kind of energy keeping this mansion up." I said to myself. "By the looks of it, it should have fallen apart years ago with all of this harsh weather and downed trees. Whatever it is I need to destroy it. The rubble of a large building such as this will give me a better chance for combat if I get attacked."

"You talk to much, Sparkey." I heard Alex say. "Maybe You shoudl rest a bit..." His voice was even louder that it was in the forest.

Hand formations rose from the ground and tossed me into a large cobweb. It was stickier that any cobweb I have ever touched. Alex crackling continued to echo through this dark world. "Your play mate will be there shortly. Ooo this is going to be fun to watch. Don't have to much fun without me, Sparkey. I'll return shortly.

His voice and shadows finally faded away, leaving me alone once more. I tried to wiggle off of the we, but my shirt clung to it firmly. I wasn't going to be moving anytime soon. After a short while, the carpet in the middle of the Mansion main hall began to rise from the ground. One red and black leg, stuck out from under it. Then another. All until the carpet burst off of the ground, revealing a red and black Galvantula.

"Hi there." I said camly.

They large spider stared at me for a bit before speaking. For his age, he was quite large.

"What in the world are you doing in my bed, sir?" It asked. It's eyes could easily show that it was tired. The four eyes on its forehead were shut from exhaustion, leaving only its two large eyes open.

"I was thrown into here." I answered.

"Ah, I guess I have to eat you then. Heh heh..."

"As if, you know that no body on this planet eats another Pokemon. All of the meat here is either manufactured or was taken from the humans and animals on Earth while the planet still existed."

"I wasn't being surious, sir." He laughed. "I'll help you out, then. I my wife and are really tired.

"Great, thanks." I smiled. He slowly crawled over the me and pulled me off of the web and set me down in front of him.

"I don't have anything against you sir, which is why I don't obey that really odd ghost guy. He really messes with the wrong people."

"Tell me about it." I groaned. "Anyway, thanks again. What's your name by the way?"

"Gavin Spidar, sir. And my wife's name is Jilian Spidar. It is very nice to meet you." His voice was friendly and cheerful.

"You too. Now, have to be going. I hope you don't mind me destroying this place, because I might have too."

"Oh, no it's perfectly fine. I think after this house is destroyed then this forest will go back to normal. Maybe Jillian and I can finally start a family when all of this is over. I mean I do love her enough for it to happen."

"Yeah, well good luck with that, Gavin." I said, walking off. I stared down the hole that Gavin rose from and prepared myself to jump into it."

"Wait!" Gavin exclaimed.

"Is there something I should be worried about, Gavin?"

"No, but I wanted to ask you... Would you catch me?"

"Catch you?" I said with a puzzled look. "You mean catch you in a Poke Ball and keep you as my own?"

"Yes, that's what I mean, sir. And my wife as well." He said with a nod. "I hope I'm not sounding selfish, but I would really like to have a trainer, or at least someone that would help Jill and I have a slightly better life."

"I gues so. The thing is, I don't really train Pokemon. I battle on my own, but I can afford to do anything for you."

"Will you really!?" He exclaimed. His eyes on his forehead opened.

"Yeah, why not. I alway carry 10 of every type of Poke Ball with me lucklily. Well not really, I can create them with electricity."

"Oh, thank you sir! I promise to aid you when you need it!" He shouted.

"Please, Gavin, don't worry about it. You only need to help me when I ask. And trust me, I'm not very needy."

I materialized two Krystal Balls in hands and stuffed one in my side pocket.

"You can materialize objects?" Gavin asked.

"Yes, I have always been able to actually."

"Wow, that's really awesome."

"Heh heh, I guess it is." I chuckled. "Now, Gavin, are you sure that you want to go through with this, I mean I you could have a nice home in this forest as well."

"No, no sir, I'm positive."

"Okay then, but don't you want too find your wife first?" I asked.

"Nah, she's close by."

"Alright, lets do this then!"

I tapped his head with the Krystal Ball. It absorbed his body in a speedy manner. "I hope Jillian is accepting of this. The last thing I need is an angry girl to deal with..."

Comments & reviews · 4
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Hannah
Review
Hannah wrote a review · Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:25 pm

Woo woo~ Hannah train coming through!

Though he's twisted, practically insane, and was a real pain in the ass for me, but he was still the best student Tracey and I have ever seen. I believe that he can finish this, but it's going to take a while."


So, I liked it a little bit that Jason and Cristina stopped completely trusting people who said they had changed. It made sense to me that they wouldn't trust Donna after all she had done to Ryan, BUT! This little explanation also makes it easier to understand why people might hate Ryan. I know we're getting the story from the side of his team and the people trying to help him, so it's easy to forget just how insane he really is. He's not the normal kind, helpful, generous, everything-positive kind of hero we might expect. He's not even the slightly-flawed hero. He's immensely flawed in our normal way of human understanding, and I feel like Donna might think the same way that we do. I think she also has a sense of what's going on in a BIG SCOPE, the way you do. Like, Ryan's on a mission that we don't really see the path of, because we're watching all the little steps, but you and Donna know he's working toward an end goal. So I liked this moment.

One thing that was off in this chapter was the beginning. I was confused as to exactly what powers Alex has to wake people up, to eat dreams, to keep them asleep, etc. The explanation wasn't clearly laid out, so if there is supposed to be a secret to what's at stake, I missed it. I think the chapter could benefit from you cleaning up that beginning section of explanation. Take it in short sentences at first!

I also thought it was an unexpected and really nice move for this chapter to end with the threatening spider being nice and asking Ryan to catch him. I don't know if this is just one of Alex's tricks, but if not, it shows a new kind of Pokemon personality and a new kind of relationship, which is really valuable and stimulating!

I'm off to the next part now~

User avatar
Jonathan
Review

Hello dark. I absolutely love the way you started this it makes it sound like a very positive chapter is under way.


dark wrote:As I walked father and father away from where I started, trees started to appear in the distance. I was clearly in some kind of dark forest. I could faintly see the lights and the silhouette of a incredibly large mansion.
As I walked father and father, You mean to say as I walked farther and farther, right?

dark wrote:"I'm telling you the truth." Donna said, holding her hands up in surrender. "If I didn't want to help you than I wouldn't still be here. I promise, after this is over, I'll be gone for good."
The than in here needs to be replaced and if necessary you may need to re write the whole thing.

dark wrote:causing they entering thing to fall apart and shadder on the ground.
First you wrote "They" instead of the secound you spelled shatter incorrectly.

dark wrote:Maybe You shoudl rest a bit..." His voice was even louder that it was in the forest.
small mistake you just miss spelled "Should" you'sa wrote "Shoudl"

dark wrote:I my wife and are really tired.
I my wife and who are really tired?

Sorry for all the quotes.

Well dark you succeeded in making ANOTHER amazing chapter of your story.

Keep writing.

~Jonathan~

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TwinkleStar
Review

hey, It's twinkle here to review. I am so glad you didn't stop it at the last chapter. this is pretty amazing and confusing too. what I don't like is how Alex completely turns against Ryan just like that. And he's Ryan's cousin so why is he doing all this.

I hope you write more because I want to find out. Also, I'll have to hand it to you. Your imagination is something, to be able to conjure up a world like this with your writing. the dream world. I noticed that you have started to describe better and at the right moment as well, the things that Ryan sees, where he is, everything.

Just remember never to over do it with the description which I don't think you will. I would, however, like to know more about the inside of the mansion. Right now, all that's in my mind is the glass door with grey blood and a dark room inside where there's a giant spider web.

One thing I noticed as an improvement is that when you started writing, you would make Ryan win every battle, make him easily escape situations but now you're adding the suspense into it as well. It was a very nice cliff hanger. For once, I actually fear for Ryan because there are chances that he may fail. (I wonder what it's like to be inside a pokeball)
It's good to keep the readers fearful and interested through out your stories.

I also wonder about Donna, why is she helping him all of a sudden. I'm not buying it that she's trying to help out of the goodness of her heart. I remember there was someone she was working for. All of this is very exciting. Do write more so my questions can be answered. =] Great chapter.

By the way, this whole problem with Donna and Alex was only because of Alex. The reason why Donna wants to help all of a sudden, shall be revealed soon.
As for Alex, he's not actually Ryan's cousin. You know how he was allied with Elec? Well, because of that, Alex is doing whatever he can to avenge him, even though he hates him. It's a bit confusing I know. That's why Alex pretended to be Ryan's cousin for all of these years. He was studying Ryan, making sure that he has him right where he wants him, until he can carry out his plans. Trust me, Alex is not the most confusing enemy tha Ryan will have.

User avatar
dark
Comment

For those of you wondering. Gavin is 10 years old. I will make sure to mention that in the next episode. It may seems odd, that he's married at that age, but everything is diffrent on that world. Somethings might mist surprize you a lot.
This hasn't been mentioned either, but the marriage process is a lot easier than the ones you may all be accustomed to. One ask if they will married ther other, the other says yes or no. If the answer is yes than the two are officially married right then and there. No weddings, no hassle, just a quick and easy act.
^I could have had someone say that in another episode. Hahahah!



The continuation of our world depends more on the survival of the kindest than it does on the survival of the fittest.
— Arcticus