You're looking at the sky
That kind of purple mirrored in your eyes
And as we walk on by
I can't help thinking why you are still holding me
Oh oh we'll make it easy now
Just stay away and let the days pass by
Oh oh we'll never know how
Our brand new hearts will beat again
CHORUS:
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
These memories in our hands
We'll let them go and watch them fly away like paper airplanes
I'm looking at the ground
We're standing still beside each other now
We got the sunset light
Falling bright just like how my feelings used to be
Oh oh we're talking like friends now
We'll stay up late if you would want to
Oh oh we're getting hope now
Our buried smiles are back again
CHORUS:
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
These memories in our hands
We'll let them go and watch them fly away like paper airplanes
Oh oh we'll make it easy now
Just stay away and let the days pass by
Oh oh we'll never know how
Our brand new hearts will beat again but
Our buried smiles are back again
CHORUS:
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
These memories in our hands
We'll let them go and watch them fly away like paper airplanes
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
These memories in our hands
We'll let them go and watch them fly away like paper airplanes
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137,507 Literary Works • 672,040 Reviews
Hey! DarkHeart, at your service!
Okay. First, I'd like to say that I enjoyed reading this. I liked some of the repetition and just the idea about goodbyes not being so sad.
However, there were a few parts I hoped wouldn't be as similar to the preceding verses. It just feels like I'm reading the same thing again, with slightly different wording. I think the parts beginning with "oh oh we'll make it easy now" and "oh oh we're talking like friends now" would fit better as a Pre-Chorus because it DOES sound good when it's repetitive. The other verses are alright, but I feel as if they could absolutely WOW me. Just a few tweaks and they'll be great, you know?
"Watch them fly away like paper airplanes," was absolutely my favorite part. It's got that whole letting-go, fly-away kind of feel to it. You know what I mean?
I hope I helped!
DarkHeart
Yeah, the "oh oh" parts were pre-choruses,they're just not labeled.
Hiya dark!
I've always really liked your lyrics, so anyways I'll start off this review with what I liked. I think the whole metaphor of 'paper airplanes' is really good and a good general metaphor for these lyrics. I also think the flow was really good, and I can imagine a melody being added to these easily, because the flow is so good.
Here are my suggestions:
-The repetition is good, but I feel like there is a bit too much. It's one thing to repeat the chorus throughout, but I feel myself only being drawn to that. I think one of the times that you repeat the chorus it could be replaced with a bridge. Putting a bridge in songs is great because it can sort of give another perspective of things.
-Generally your rhyming is great, however here:
I think three lines of rhymes seems to be a bit too much, and interrupts the rhythm of it a bit. It probably wasn't intentional, but maybe a different use of words so that this doesn't happen.
-Lastly, these lyrics seem sort of incomplete to me. Obviously as the writer, it's your choice to include as much of the story as you want to, but like, why do they have to let go of these memories? What's actually happened? Maybe if you added a bridge, you could explain this a bit more.
Overall, I really liked this! Compared to some of your other lyrics I've reviewed, I thought this was much better because it seems less cliche, which is great! I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions or if you'd like another review on anything.
Keep writing,
~ArcticMonkey x
You're reviews are awesome! Thankss A.M.
Wow, you're a really talented lyricist! This is really great, and it's very relatable on a personal level to me, which makes me love it more. I have no criticism, I think it's flawless
thanks!
Hey,
It was fun too read this also.
Nice poem/lyric. I like this part;
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
These memories in our hands
We'll let them go and watch them fly away like paper airplanes
But did you see me as I am?
I can't believe we reached the end, oh can you feel it?
>It's like Goodbye, but airplanes always have to come back to were they left right? So it's goodbye for now, but not always. That's adorable. I'm thinking you thought of somebody writing this! ( I do it too ), but anyways, I like your title, Paper Airplanes. It's a song, a popular one, but I think this one would top it.
>Keep up your fantastic work!!
Thanks BrittanyNicole!
You're welcome.