Tell me how you're doing, it's been a while
I can see how you carelessly painted that smile
Keep it up I know you're doing fine
But deep inside there's nothing right
Tell me all your dreams, I'll write them down
Cause that is all they are, you know it now
Suck it up and go on live your life
With people pushing you around
Cause you are always tied to their selfish rules
And they will keep on telling you what to do
CHORUS:
Hey kid, you're late again
Don't you know you must not keep them waiting?
Hey kid, you're wrong again
Don't you know what they're expecting from you?
You're always aiming for the better, but that's not enough
Push your luck to the limit but you don't look so tough
Walk it off I know you're looking down
But deep inside you're taking flight
You always got the answers, that's what they think
I bet you're feeling the pressure, that's what I think
Lock it up and keep it for a while
Here they come don't show it now
Cause you're hanging on to the words they said
And you're just scared you might not win the bread
CHORUS:
Hey kid, you're late again
Don't you know you must not keep them waiting?
Hey kid, you're wrong again
Don't you know what they're expecting from you?
Don't you dare lose another tear from your eye
You could always write a song to pass the time
Laugh it off I know you will be fine
Everything will be alright, everything will be alright
CHORUS:
Hey kid, you'll be okay
Don't you know you must keep on smiling?
Hey kid, this is your day
Don't you know you must keep believing in you?
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139,650 Literary Works • 672,643 Reviews
Hi darkangel!
I love reading song lyrics! I'm going to start with saying stuff I liked, then a couple of improvements, then I'm going to give you my overall impression. I've had quite a lot of advice with song-writing, so I'll do best best to pass that onto you too!
The main thing I liked about this was the topic. I think it's very relatable to in today's society- especially with teenagers. I also quite like the language that you have used, I mean I thought it was pretty unique and really matched the style of the song. There were some really strong lines in this! For example:
I really like this, 'carelessly painted smile' I think it a great line!
Now onto some next steps. I'm going to be honest here and say it was a bit too wordy for my liking. It seems like you've crammed too much into here, and although good words, I feel that some lines are too long. Considering that this is a song, you don't want it to be too wordy otherwise it'll just end up becoming more of a rap than a song- unless that's what you want of course. I think especially with the chorus, it's so long! Remember, the chorus is your hook, you don't want it to be too lengthy!
Also, some of the rhymes seemed a bit forced. I think it's good that you've used this technique, however don't rhyme for the sake of it. I've always found that when I want to rhyme, it's quite helpful to write down my message in verse form without the rhymes, and then see what words I can alterate so that it does rhyme!
All in all, these were some really nice lyrics! You've got a fab message/topic, I think just to make it a bit less wordy would be great. Also, right now the layout is a bit boring, maybe you could add a bridge? Songs which just go verse chorus verse chorus can be boring so try and make a different section. If you have music that goes with this, maybe even try and make an instrumental part!
Hope this helped, PM me with questions or if you'd like anything else to be reviewed.
Keep lyricing!
-Arc x
Wow! oh my god this song deserves a lot of attention.
It pretty much a description of my whole life, it's really relatable and amazing!
i loved this part :
"Hey kid, you'll be okay
Don't you know you must keep on smiling?
Hey kid, this is your day
Don't you know you must keep believing in you?"
It really inspired me! I absolutely love it!
Thank you for your review!
I'm glad you loved it. 
Lovely song. I will try singing it with a guitar since its like really relatable. This actually shows how a person spents their teenage life. Its a song which can actually make a person believe in themselves. I will be looking forward to more work of yours.
The chorus is so playful it can be sung using high notes. You should sometimes upload videos of yourself singing as well. I love the rhymes in between perfect song.
Bazinga. C: *le sheldon style*
Dumb review. :'c
Thank for your review! I appreciate it! :3
Hey Dark, Panda here to review!!!! < 3
Well lets just get down to the point, I like the song.
I don't seen any grammatical issues, so it shows you must be good in English! Lol, I don't know why I even said that. (Sorry for the stupid stuff I say.)
Anyhow, if you made this yourself, you are really good at making songs!
Do you have tunes for it and everything? Post it on YouTube and maybe get FAMOUS!!
Sentence Structure is AWESOME, at least it didn't confuse me like some other peoples things do. Anyways, I guess this is a dumb review.. I need a little more practice.
Keep up the good work,
-Pandabear7
Hey! Thank you for your review
Yeah, I wrote it myself and it has a tune already, but no chords yet. Posting it in YouTube? Ha ha. I don't know, I'm not an accomplished singer yet, just an average songwriter. Thank you Panda 