Young Writers Society

Hey! I saw your lyrical and decided to give it a review!

I love the song I'm gonna have to agree with the person below me it does sound like a song Taylor Swift would write.

But other than that it was really good! there was a fully meaning behind this lyrical of yours that I absolutely adored I liked the part where you said

"Cause I know that we should be together
From the start I know you're my forever" I found it really romantic and sweet reminds me of my old school crush really!

You have a wonderful talent for lyrics I'm actually a rookie with Lyrics but I'm getting there!

You really have inspired me to write my next song your beautiful lyrics spoke to me.

I loved it, adored it; and most of all it had so much meaning!

~AnimeLover13~

Hello! Anywho, I'll get right to the point and make a review for this wonderful lyrical piece! Alright, I could picture this song as something Taylor Swift would write -- and I'm not saying that's bad. Taylor Swift is a good songwriter to be honest, better than most rappers or singers (I'm not dropping anymore names.). Hands down to that.

Anywho, the point is, this song is slightly better than most pop songs nowadays. There was absolutely a concrete scene from the topic of love when you mentioned that "You proved me wrong and now I'm hoping you will meet me halfway" 'cause if you would just generalize all the pop love songs nowadays, it's frequently about falling in love, wanting someone and having your heart broken but this song is about the aftermath or of blind optimism (something most wouldn't admit to) and this is something that listeners could probably relate with given its specificity (which is, by the way, how Taylor Swift gets her listeners).

Although love is a general and popular topic in music and repetition of lines and what not cannot be avoided, I just wished that there was this one single line that could catch the ears of the listeners and make them say "Woah!" and make everything else make sense. But that's just me. The first two lines of the chorus was a bit dull for me though. I feel like there's something else that could've been in that place, like it could be something like "I know we can make it through together if only you'd let me be your forever" (I know that sucked but it could be something along that line 'cause the chorus continued as if you're talking to the other person). And instead of "there under the rain" maybe "here under the rain" could make the imagery consistent.

Darn, I wish I could at least listen to the song. This would be so great as a song. That's probably it. I know that that wasn't much of a help but I did try.

- Coralyn

Hello there, dark_angel05. Love your avatar, by the way.
Anyway, I'm here to give you a review!


You have a lot of talent, I can tell that from reading this. But, of course, many people make a few errors! One error I'd like to point out, in my opinion, is this one: "Back when tomorrow is just another day ". I don't understand this line, it honestly doesn't make any sense. You use past tense and present tense in the same line, which makes it very hard to understand. It should say something like, "back when tomorrow was just another day," not is. Also, I'm not sure how "You proved me wrong and now I'm hoping you will meet me halfway" fits in. The song is about kissing in the rain and how he/she's your forever. This part confuses me. Are you saying the person proved you wrong, that they're not your forever? Try to elaborate a little bit.
Other than those two things, I really like this song! I could see it becoming a decently known song if you could find someone to sing it, or if you'd sing it yourself. You really should consider that! With a little bit of work, you'll be magnificent.

~ RedApril29th.

Hello, Squire Lioness of the Green Room here to review!
I haven't reviewed any song lyrics before, but I can imagine this as a song in the charts. You are truly talented! Sadly, I can't write lyrics...but novels, yes!
Anyways, back to you.
My favorite verse is the first, I don't know why, but it is so beautiful and is an excellent opener. The flow of it is divine, and is clearly well thought out. I see this as being a slow song, is this right? 'Cause the rhythm I imagined seems like this.
As Arctic has said, the song does get a little repetitive. Maybe 2 verses, a chorus, an instrumental, a verse then an extended chorus? It's your song, but this is how I visualize most music.
The title is very fitting, but maybe a little cliche. I'm not sure, but I think there might be a song called this already. How 'bout Under the Rain? But then again, it's your song!

Love songs can be cliche a lot, but you have original ideas. This is most apparent in the first verse. Your imagery seems used a lot, but maybe a thesaurus can work this out.
I apologize if this review doesn't help a lot, as I'm not that good at writing song lyric reviews.
PM if you have any questions about this,
Lioness.

Hiya dark! Here to review your lovely song lyrics.

I haven't reviewed song lyrics on here in ages so I'm uber excited because they're probably my favourite thing to review. What I liked about these lyrics was the tempo/flow of it seemed quite natural, and I can really imagine it being paired up with a melody. Also, I liked the way you've included the rain in this because it adds more to the whole thing- so well done!

As this is a love song, you have to be careful not to fall for those same cliche's which are everywhere. Although a lot of famous love songs happen to have cliche lyrics, I personally think it's important to make it your own. I'm not sure what genre you wanted this to be, but either way there were a few lines which I thought I've 'seen' before. However, I don't think you should get rid of any lines, but maybe add in some techniques like metaphors and similes. Because you've included something about the rain, you could even make a direct link to the rain- perhaps comparing the who relationship to the rain. Something unexpected but you love it? Or something along those lines.

Secondly, I wasn't too fond of the structure of this. The whole verse chorus verse chorus thing gets a bit boring and repetitive. Maybe you could mix it up a bit. With songs, something that is often used is to have two verses before the first chorus, and then one verse, and then an extended chorus. I might be sounding confusing, but the main thing here is that it's sometimes good to make your fans really wait for the chorus. I'm sure when you're listening to a song you wait for the chorus, and you shouldn't use the chorus too much, because then it becomes less effective to use. Also, you might want to think of adding a bridge, this will give a different section and gives a chance to use a different structure to use your lyric skills .

I sort of mentioned this already, but I'd like to see some more imagery. This, again, will make this more original and imagery isn't really used enough in lyrics. I'd like to see some more adjectives used, rather than just talking about the couple who kiss under the rain- although that sounds pretty romantic, it would be good if some imagery was used too. So maybe something more in depth about the rain or the settings.

All in all, these were some really cool lyrics. You've got good pacing and there are some cool ideas in here. Next steps would be perhaps making the structure slightly more interesting and maybe adding some imagery. I hope this review helped! PM me with questions or if you'd like another review. Also, if you have music to this piece I'd love to hear it!

Keep writing!
-Arc x