One Rose

Hi there!

Well, firstly I really liked this song. The flow was good, so I felt that it work just as well when you sang it. I also like ArcticMonkey really liked the emotion you conveyed. I actually was starting to feel angry at this guy by the end I think you did an exceptionally good job on that and I can tell that you've either experienced this or are very good at faking wisdom. Either way, great work.

The rhyming. I feel like the parts where it rhymed where the best parts to be honest like these two lines;

I guess we're just dancing for the sake of a show
There's no use in hiding what I already know

I mean you can just feel the flow and melody in that. So I think you should try and be more consistent for the rhymes to keep up the flow of it.

Overall I loved the message, idea, imagery and flow to it and I feel like you have a real knack for writing songs!

Keep up the good work;

LGF

Hi dark! Here to review your lyrics

So I'm currently writing this on my phone so I apologise in advance for any typing errors. You posted this quite a while ago so you mag be wondering why I've decided to review it- I sort of felt the need to review song lyrics so here I am . I'll start off with what I liked about this and I think that's the emotion that is conveyed through this. I think you do an excellent job at this and really makes the reader feel something by the end of it.

My first critique is about the rhyming. In some places it works really well however in other places it doesn't actually seem to rhyme. Because this is a song and not a poem, I think having rhymes is actually really important for finding a melody- however I think it should be more consistant. So make sure that all the rhymes you've used actually rhyme. I often use an online rhyming dictionsry.

Secondly, with these lyrics for some reason I feel that it shoukd start with the chorus. I know previously you've said that you don't really feel comfortable with changing the structure too mucj, but I think this would be something that's interesting to experiment with.

Overall, I really enjoyes reading these lyrics! I'd love to hear this being played so please let me know if you have a recording you're willing to share. Remember in the future to clean up on the rhymes a little, and maybe try and change the structure. Just a tad. I hope this review helped, feel free to PM me with any questions you have or if you'd like another review on anything.

Keep writing!
~Arc x

Hi there darkangel! Nite here with a review on this lovely piece for Review Day. Go Team Inc(red)ibles!

Now, overall, I love this song. The chorus is strong and the flow is strong. I really like how it ties back to the reality-show setup. In fact, I only have a couple small nitpicks.

What is real isn't necessarily the truth

And just stop myself from thinking all these nonsense

Hey darkangel,

So usually I don't review lyrics :3 But I'm trying it out anyways! I really like how you told a story with this song... I got the image that you were at a dance and you asked someone out and gave them a rose, and they said yes although their heart was with someone else?

The title really suits work and I think you were to the point, but with enough description. I liked how you constantly referred to the rose, and it almost became a symbol of the bitter sweet emotions. There was one line that seems a little awkward:

And just stop myself from thinking all these nonsense

Nonsense doesn't go with these because it isn't necessarily a thing or emotion that you can have many of. It's a thing that describes a situation or a person. Maybe this line would work more if you change it to: And stop myself from thinking of nonsense.

The flow here was a little bit awkward in some place. Maybe tidy that up a little? Once you do I think you've got a great song

Deanie x

I thought that this was simple and to the point (mostly), which is a good thing sometimes (in this case, it is). I thought the chorus was good in the effectiveness of delivering the message of the song and in transitioning throughout. I think you could have done a better job of separating/distinguishing the chorus from the verses, because it was a bit confusing at first. I think you did a outstanding job at setting the scene, at keeping a consistent flow throughout the song, and in the actual words & references you used to translate your point. Keep up the good work.