when inside I felt the downward I fell
(fell up through heaven and down through hell)
I learned what was not to be known at all
(from books that teach lessons or animals' calls)
from hours alone on downward spirals up
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
I don't know what to say really, but i very much like this poem. the style is...different...to what i have seen before but i still think that this is quite brilliant. i only wish that it could be longer. i think that the last line doesn't really finish it unfortunately, but in my infinite ignorance i don't know if that would be the point or not. as you can probably tell, i don't know much about poems, but i really love the flow of this peice and i think it should be frontpaged.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that! It was influenced by the style of E.E. Cummings, if you've ever heard of him. He's quite a different poet.
What an interesting poem!
This was really cool to read- I love the rhyming pattern and the whole topsy-turvy nature of it.
"inside I felt the downward" makes me think that the narrator has moments of depression, or a mental/internal struggle, and "up through heaven and down through hell" makes me think of mood swings or being bipolar. Or perhaps this is just the human condition- that we have good and bad days. "I learned what was not to be known at all". This line still puzzles me. I get the overall idea that knowledge is not important, that what we have learnt will never be necessary, but I am unsure as to whether or not this is the message you wanted to convey.
"from hours alone on downward spirals up" this is definitely my favourite line- I like that it doesn't rhyne- it does not conform with the rest of the piece, which enhances its quirky phrasing.
Overall, this poem really left me thinking. I love the tone and structure of it, and it was a great read. Keep up the good work!