These walls

Hey there rhia, Clarity here to review as requested!

So, this is a fairly sad, yet lovely poem. I'm going to go through this stanza by stanza; which will probably take me a long time, but if it helps, then perfect!

The little ones cry,
their weeping a sorrowful echo
of the screaming that shakes the walls
with the ferocity of the fighting.

This is a very nicely written stanza. I wold suggest changing your comma to a semi-colon though. I reckon that the first line acts as an opening statement, and this is a statement that stands out. However, by making it seem like it's it own sentence, it packs in that extra oomph.

They weren't meant to be,
a fact proven by the constant combativeness.
Selfishly, they throw their words between them
ignoring the fact

that those words crawl
like filthy pests into the ears of the innocent flowers
that are my sisters, eating them up
from the inside out.

I like the use of enjambment, but you actually used it over the break of a stanza, not just the break of a line. Like, super-enjambment. I like it! "Combativeness" seems like such a chunky word. I think you should use something a little more flowing; a word that makes the sentence carry like a ripple in a river. "Belligerence" might be a good word. Although, "combativeness" is best to keep if you want to keep the alliteration within the line. The line in red was also a little unclear to me; are you saying they weren't meant to be, as in never exist? Also, both of the commas that I put in red would probably make the sentence sound better if it was a semi-colon.

Somehow, I stay.
After years upon years, I am immune,
even numb. The words still cut like bitter blades,
but there's just nothing left to bleed.

I really like this stanza. In fact, I just really like the whole poem! The things I noticed here were that you don't need the comma in the second line, but you can keep it if you want to. The comma in the second line would probably look better as a semi-colon, even more so if you choose to add in the "but" that I put there. I just wanted you to be able to look at it and contemplate adding it in. I think it would work well with the line, but it's your call.

Already, those words have eaten
what was inside, what was me. They've left me
sick with it, sick of it, but what is there to do?
They will infect us all.

Both of them commas could be semi-colons. I know I keep mentioning punctuation, but I just want to give as much advice as possible. I like using punctuation to its best effect, and I think a few changes of it would add that affect to your poem. This is a nice stanza, though. I also like the question. It's the first, and last, one you use; and you use it to great effect. I like how it's in the middle of the poem, because it gives us that second half to think about what you mean.

Already, we feel happiness
begin to be overshadowed with the uncertainties
left over from each passing incident, their frequency
rapidly increasing.

The only thing for me to point out is that the comma could be a semi-colon. But, that's all. The only other thing is that this is another lovely stanza.

Still, the screaming shakes,
it shakes through the walls, reverberates into our bones.
It's nothing those walls haven't heard before, yet I wonder
if this will be the time they crumble.

The comma on the first line would probably work better as a full stop. Hence, the "it" would then need a capital "I". I think that the comma on the second line should be eradicated and replaced with "and". Other than that, another brilliant stanza. I like the story you're telling, even though it's a sad one, you portray it well within the poem.

One thing is certain-
Should, by some miracle, those walls still stand
when we are grown and set free from them,
none of us will ever return.

Those walls hold not a happy childhood.
Instead, they lament, and leak many woes.

That dash should probably be a colon. And this is a wonderful way to end the poem. Well done. I love the last two lines. They represent so much about this unhappy life you have portrayed.

The message I got from this poem was that of a child, growing up in a very abusive household. You do well by not outwardly stating this. You use so many similes to get the message across... it's just brilliant. I can really imagine this, the image of a rotten house and the horrors that occur within it. It's sad, yet brilliant at how you created it. I could feel the emotion that went into this poem. Well done.

Your use of alliteration was really good as well! I noticed how you use it to great effect in three places:
"constant combativeness"
"bitter blades"
and
"screaming shakes"
You used it really well.

Overall, wonderful poem. Well done, I can't wait to read more of your work!

On a side note, welcome to YWS! I notice you've only been here a few weeks.

Happy YWSing,

-Clarity