True Love never dies; it only gets strong over time
Even thou I’m young, love finds it way in my heart
People say, we don’t know what love is? But we do.
We see love in a different way from others
But, we love like no other.
Some grownups think love is for adults
But, it’s for us to.
It’s weird because our parents say go discovery something
But, every time we do we find love.
They say we don’t feel love, but we know what feel
I can’t help it, but think of him every day, it’s just what I feel.
When I’m with him, when his gone, and when I see him.
I can sense the love, from a mile away.
They don’t know what we feel sometimes.
The world changes and people change, but true love never change.
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137,507 Literary Works • 672,040 Reviews
Hey!! And welcome to YWS:) So TheMessenger and whitewolfpuppy seem to have all the technical details, so I won't go over that. Overall, this is a very interesting poem, and I assume that it's based on a true experience, which is always cool:) In some ways I think free verse is harder poetry to write than lyric, because even though it has no rhyme, it should still have a good beat, which can be hard to do. I think you did pretty well at that, but it could be improved. Some of the lines are just off. I don't really have complaints on the content, I like that part. Great work, and keep writing!!
Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight
whoops, i did it twice;) Trying out an idea for my title as a knight...
Hey!! And welcome to YWS:) So TheMessenger and whitewolfpuppy seem to have all the technical details, so I won't go over that. Overall, this is a very interesting poem, and I assume that it's based on a true experience, which is always cool:) In some ways I think free verse is harder poetry to write than lyric, because even though it has no rhyme, it should still have a good beat, which can be hard to do. I think you did pretty well at that, but it could be improved. Some of the lines are just off. I don't really have complaints on the content, I like that part. Great work, and keep writing!!
Lady Celestia, the Golden Knight
The Knight Messenger here to review for the KotGR.
So first off welcome to YWS! Hope you love it as much as I have.
"It" should have an s on the end of it.
I would suggest putting a dash in between grown and ups.
There is no need for the y on the end of discovery.
You are missing a "we" in between what and feel. also you need a period at the end of this line.
It should be 'he is' instead of "his"
I really like this line, but you need and s on change.
So, overall I really liked this poem. I liked the message and the flow of it all. I hope you don't think me harsh with all the things I pointed out, because if you fix them then you will have a really beautiful poem, not tat you don't already.
Keep it up!
Thanks you. i didnt noticed the small misstakes, and i well improve my work.
Hey there! I'm Onyx and I will be reviewing your poem today!
Comments
You did a wonderful job! I like how you use your own experience at the end of the poem! Here are just a few things that I would like to point out, so here we go.
"Thou" is spelled "Though" That is more of a text-style term.
I believe there should be a period at the end of "heart"
Here, there should be a period after "feel"
Over all
Over all you did an amazing job, I love how you are creative with the poem and use some real life experiences within it. You show a good idea how parents and kids work with the idea of love and I agree. I know what it is like to be told that I have no idea what it is. I like how you convey that side of the argument as well. If you need anything else reviewed. Feel free to send me a message on my profile and I will be more than happy. Thank you for your time and keep on writing!
~Onyx
Thank you.!