We all have that person who teaches the greatest lessons of life
May it be your English teacher, your coach, Jesus, whoever
Well, like everyone else, I have mine
Like some, he is very close to me
Unlike everyone else, he has his troubles, too
*
Freshman year, I was broken
I was hurt
I was ripped into pieces until I didn’t want to get out of bed
Too much ran in my head
Until I saw him
*
He wasn’t unnoticeable, easy to spot in a crowd
Six foot tall, height speaks loud
Curiosity led to many things, and I’m glad it did
I got to know his name, interests, and friends
How well he played sports, and how much he loved the rain
*
A year later came lesson one
The bravest are ones with fears
The bravest are ones with demons
We tell their fears and demons first
Then we shoot them down together
*
Lesson two the year after
I am never alone
The other will always hold my hand
Walk through the storm
Then, cradled in his arms
*
This year, lesson three and last
It wasn’t my fault
He has demons, but he believes he is not to blame
I made my choices, and if I’m happy, so be it
Don’t let someone else try to break my heart again
*
Wisdom is experience and experience is history
I still don’t know his, and I question it,
But let’s be honest with ourselves
It’s not my business
And I won’t push him farther than times in the past
*
I hope to tell everyone of my teacher’s lessons,
But if there’s anything I really want
It’s for my teacher to hear me speak today
Teach, you know who you are
And thank you for listening
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Hi there! Hadj trying to get over his fear of reviewing!
First things first, welcome to YWS! If you have any questions, let me know!
Now, on to business...
Nitpicks
1) In stanza 3, change "Six foot tall, height speaks loud" to "Six feet tall, height speaks loud", the plural of foot is feet
Criticism
I was confused by the rhyming in this poem. I wish that you would have left out rhymes altogether, or created a consistent rhyme scheme.
Although this poem is beautiful, it lacks poetic devices, and reads more like an essay. I would suggest adding some devices to make it flow better as a poem (rhyme scheme, rhythm, similes, metaphors, personification etc). However, if you prefer it the way it is, that's fine too, whichever way you think best displays your thoughts.
Praise
Awesome poem!
I love how its broken down, the beginning brings emotion and sadness, the middle teaches three important lessons, and the end evokes happiness and content.
This poem is interesting, unique, and full of useful lessons.
Great work, welcome to YWS, and keep on writing!
Hadj
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
OKAY I LOVED THIS A LOT.
Wow, beautiful. Let me start this review before I start crying.
Nitpick!
Spoiler
First of all, great line! I love the imagery here!
Second of all, "foot," needs to be "feet."
That's literally the only mistake I could find in this.
Content
Spoiler
I loved the lessons and how each lesson made a stanza.
I loved how the lessons paralleled the growth of the relationship between you and the teacher.
I loved how it ended with the teacher's flaws instead of your own; that speaks to good character, a lack of self-centeredness that's admirable.
I loved how it didn't make the teacher into some kind of indestructible hero.
I loved the beginning, how you set up a scene and showed how the teacher changed it.
I loved how the lessons mirrored your personal progress.
I loved how relatable this whole situation is.
And finally, I loved how you ended it with a thank-you. That just. That was really awesome.
For next time, I'd do exactly whatever it is you're doing because it's great. I mean, I couldn't find any content flaws anywhere. Superb job!
Conclusion
Wow. Just. I loved this and I don't know what else I can say. Great, fabulous, spectacular job. I'll gig your poem nine stars out of ten. Seriously, so good! Keep writing!