Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

*insert a dead meme here*

my name's jeff

Jeoffry had idolized a trashcan for years, but little did he know, Harambe did 4/20

"This is the first sentence."

"Like a fart, he emerged from between two couch cushions, looking pleasantly pleased with the reactions of the others standing in the room."

Welp, here's my attempt

The history of Neo-Platonic Phytoplankton is a long and boring one. Here it is in it's entirety.

You will love this book, I know it.

"Do you hear snoring? 'cause I do," said Jack, looking around the room. Then he started snoring.

Before I begin, I'd like to thank NordVPN, the sponsor of this book!

This story has a scary clown.

I had to write this for my literature teacher.

Hi, my name is Alliyah, and there is a lot going on in my life right now - the second problem is that I tripped headfirst into a bowl of pudding, the first problem is what this story is about.

These are actual examples from some of my old stories:

Autumn; it’s the season for wearing cozy plaid sweaters, drinking pumpkin spice lattes, and picking out the perfect pumpkin for carving. More importantly, though, fall is the perfect time to gather around a bonfire with your buddies and tell spooky stories. Our protagonists happened to be doing just that.

It was a wonderful day in the non-canon dimension. The birds weren’t singing, and the flowers weren’t blooming. The non-canon dimension was an endless white void (this basically means that the setting isn’t important)

Uhh.. yeah , I actually added those parentheses to the story. To explain, whenever I was writing about my ocs doing something that they wouldn’t normally do, or i was writing a story about two characters who couldn’t canonically interact, I made the setting a white void that I named “the non-canon dimension.” It was… really dumb

Herbaceous had always been the odd one out, the black sheep of the family, the outcast, the cast-away, the one who wore green sweaters instead of pink shirts, who liked the outdoors, who was less than 6 feet tall and who was a bit of a pushover.



(Not super inventive, but I tried - I haven't been reading enough 'worst sentence' worthy things lately xD)

In a tiny village where cows moo with British accents and chickens walk around in big boots, the day began with an ear-bleeding bleat from the decade-old village goat, who was missing three teeth.

There was once someone who had an absoloutley perfect life, and you are about to hear all about it in mind numbing detail! So first, the someone moved an inch to the left, with her right foot... then her left...

This is the best I can do, I think.