Make Up The Worst Possible Opening Line Ever

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da h*** out of here!).
-Credit to My Immortal.

Here's my try:

"The weather was pleasant outside: not amazing, but not rainy or bleak, only filled with halfhearted clouds drifting across its blue expanse."

It was cold. Not winter cold, but cold like a piece of frozen broccoli.

Sneezing is a habit of life, thought Snog, like eating, sleeping, eating, dying, and yawning.
Let's just say that's my worst attempt at being worst!

It was a sunny day and the birds chirped in the morning cheerfully.

Cub wrote:Sneezing is a habit of life, thought Snog, like eating, sleeping, eating, dying, and yawning.
Let's just say that's my worst attempt at being worst!

Yeah, I thought this was good in an ironic, way, especially since it uses this sort of thing: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... MilkSquick

Like all stories, there must be a clear beginning; and for Anna this was hers.

i fell into a hole today

Sometimes life prevents you from doing certain things, and for me that was getting to Wal-Mart.

Once upon a time, junk got real for the world's heroes.

the end

Once upon a time lived a princess.

Don't argue with me, you know it's true.

As Anna looked smilingly at her zestfully-dressed aunt, she had no idea that her cousin was deceasing just a few blocks away.

(Insert any pun here. Yes, any.)