yoha_ahoy

And how proud I was when you saw it And smiled at me, as though I made light itself. Favorite lines right there. ^_^ Lovely poem! Good imagery and cute ...

Aww. I love how you wrapped it up with the fairy-tale glue thing again at the end. The rhyme scheme was flawless and just lovely. I just feel that the ...

This is good! I like it. It's kind of bland in some places, but that's kind of how journals are. It's at least interesting enough to keep following the story, ...

Hey! Welcome to the YWS! This is a great piece and as everyone else has pointed out, wonderful imagery. You're really got a knack. I hope you stick around! :) ...

This is waaaay to short and cliche to be much at all. Sorry to be so harsh, but scrap this one or add a LOT more to it. If you ...

Clever. I liked the italization of "was" in the last line. It really drives the point home. But the rest is sort of "blah." Take the other's adivce, but keep ...

Hahaha! I really liked this! Being read out of season for me, it really does remind me of marching season. I thini it was reasonably well executed! Keep writing! ;) ...

"There was a letter placed on the grand piano. The note, wrinkled from many openings, was addressed to [s]a[/s] the young man sitting at the bench." The cut from the ...

Oh yay! Cool! I like it. Good luck with your open mic thingie! I SO agree with this. Numbers are just lame in comparison to words. ^_^ Words = Life. ...

First entry, sixth paragraph: "...only going to come to documents." Should it be, come DO documents? Second entry, first line, "get here" I think you meant. "Do you sustain the ...

Haha! This is a really cute short poem! I like it! No complaints. :D ~Yoyo 8)

Oh lovely! Hooray flutes! Great use of musical terms in there, though I haven't even heard of half of them. XD The only thing I think would sound better would ...

as i twirled and twirled it, feeling the slow vibration That is a really awkward line break and it does nothing for the poem. Other than that and some capitalization ...

First of all, put a space between wour paragraphs. It's easier to read then. Typo: "...sitting with their elbows on the tabletop, gazing into glasses of beer that they didn’t ...

Ouch. That's a painful poem. I mean, you feel the pain of the writer. I hope this really didn't happen to you. If it did, I am truly sorry. *hugs* ...