writerwithacause

First of all, I'd like to tell you that I enjoyed reading this. Here are just some of my suggestions, feel free to ignore the as well, cause your poem ...

I can hear in you the hum of Electric lights , papery-wasted skin, hair, a chemical crimson waste of color ... The hue of whorish lips, a monstrous, bloody smile. ...

Memories of her starving to see us eat, (I like the association of words here.) memories of her sick and weak, memories of how hard it was to take action, ...

Some punctuations corrections: It is raining -- Steady and consistent ; I am alone -- Safe and consistent . It is dry where the people are , But it is ...

Delilah had always liked Manhattan. Good start for a short story. I always like it when authors go straight to the point from the beginning. :P She remembered her first ...

The sight of you, made my knees go weak, and I wondered if you still cared. The sight of you, made miss all the things we shared. The sight of ...

I wanna curl up like a cat around you and hold you tight. I wanna hug you and never let you go , Shelter you from the darkness and keep ...

Oh, wow. Strong poem, strong feelings that I get from reading. Your way of starting the poem is great. With that dialogue, you make the readers focus on your poem. ...

Somewhere amidst the aquamarines , -- aquamarine is rather an adjective, but I suppose you can turn it into a noun as well. Where the breeze never plays without a ...

Been sitting in this room Trying to think of the right words to say . Truth is, I may not be perfect Or know all the right things to say ...

Hey there, Cspr! You have a good poem here, I like how you write and how you combine words to attract readers' attention. Here are my favourite parts: Thereabouts we ...

Yes, I have to admit, I expected some deeper meaning as well. But I can not say you've disappointed me. :P You should, though, add some punctuation marks: There is ...

Poetry is indeed not all about rhyme and rhythm, I agree with you, BoZi. It's about feelings, emotions. You remebered me with your poem about my childhood. I just hated ...

Hehe, what a nice poem! I don't think I've read a poem about skin before! At first, it seemed a total nonsesne, but the ending sum it up very well: ...

When you're young, you never notice what's going on What's happening outside In the life you have never lived When different origins? say how bad life can be -- perhaps ...