Dry Rain

I enjoyed the poem! It's very true! I really liked the end too!!

Hello there.
I did not find it to be much of a poem. It was just a story chopped down to be into stanzas so that it looks like one.
You could make into a short story and post it in that forum. But then also it is a good one. A great message in these few words. I have some nitpicks by the way. Hope it helps.

When you're young, you never notice what's going on good start
What's happening outside
In the life you have never lived
When different origins say how bad life can be origins? eh?
Nobody ever notices
Nobody ever cares.

"You must think yourself so special," people would say, "So lucky," You jumbled things up here.
I look up and say "No."
You see, I don't, I never think myself special You see, I don't, and I never think myself special
And I never see myself as lucky
To have all that I have
Because when I see others so poor
So lonely
It makes you want to be in the situation. It makes me want to be in the situation.

Some people never listen
When you say you care
They laugh in your face
Say you don't mean it, they say you're a wimp
You're a loser
For wanting to help the people that don't help us For wanting to help the people those don’t help us
Because the more we help, the more they want
People say they're selfish
They're unreal. unreal? Use something else in its place.

But it's not true though
We maybe are the most luckiest We maybe are the luckiest
Some people would believe that
Some people wouldn't, Some people won't,
It's part of life,
Part of the adventure to be curious Part of the adventure is to be curious
About the world we live in
But the facts are... People don't give a care. People do not care.

But all I know is
There's another land out there
Another place that no one cares about
No one sees the bad side to it
They think the world is wrapped in cotton wool
That nothing bad can happen to any other place in our world
That's a lie.

When you're young, you never notice what's going on
What's happening outside
In the life you have never lived
When different origins? say how bad life can be -- perhaps there should've been another noun there.
Nobody ever notices
Nobody ever cares.

"You must think yourself so special," people would say, "So lucky,"
I look up and say "No."
You see, I don't, I never think myself special
And I never see myself as lucky
To have all that I have
Because when I see others so poor[comma]
So lonely[comma]
It makes you want to be in that situation.

Some people never listen
When you say you care.
They laugh in your face[comma]
Say you don't mean it, they say you're a wimp[comma]
You're a loser
For wanting to help the people that don't help us
Because the more we help, the more they want
People say they're selfish
They're unreal.

But it's not true though
We maybe are the most luckiest the luckiest
Some people would believe that[comma]
Some people wouldn't,
It's part of life,
Part of the adventure of being curious
About the world we live in
But the facts are... People don't give a care.

But all I know is
There's another land out there
Another place that no one cares about
No one sees the bad side to it
They think the world is wrapped in cotton wool,
That nothing bad can happen to any other place in our world,
That's a lie.

Hey there,
The name is Upile..(duh, I know ryt?.lol). Sorry for the detour, me and my crazy self. Anyway, I will be reviewing your poem today. Red is for errors, purple is for lines I love, orange is for when I'm confused and my comments are in pink.

When you're young, you never notice what's going on
What's happening outside
In the life you have never lived
When different origins say how bad life can be
Nobody ever notices
Nobody ever cares

"You must think yourself so special," people would say, "So lucky,"
I look up and say "No."
You see, I don't, I never think myself special
And I never see myself as lucky
To have all that I have
Because when I see others so poor
So lonely
It makes you want to be in the situation

Some people never listen
When you say you care
They laugh in your face
Say you don't mean it, they say you're a wimp
You're a loser
For wanting to help the people that don't help us
Because the more we help, the more they want
People say they're selfish
They're unreal.

But it's not true though
We maybe are the most luckiest
Some people would believe that
Some people wouldn't,
It's part of life,
Part of the adventure to be curious
About the world we live in
But the facts are... People don't give a care.

But all I know is
There's another land out there
Another place that no one cares about
No one sees the bad side to it
They think the world is wrapped in cotton wool
That nothing bad can happen to any other place in our world
That's a lie