Published February 16, 2011
“Why the hell am I here?”
She cries all alone.
Staring in the mirror,
The sunken eyes aren’t her own.
Living on lettuce,
Perfection’s the goal.
Throwing up blood,
Her life is the toll.
She worships the scale,
But as the number sinks lower,
Her life passes by,
And her heartbeat gets slower.
Blood falls like tears,
As flesh meets the blade,
Hatred bursts forward,
From all the choices she’s made.
Her flesh is left open,
But still she feels cold,
To the thrill of the knife,
Her soul is now sold.
“I’m so far beyond worthless.”
She sighs late at night.
She covers the bruises,
So they’ll think it’s alright.
She returns to the past—
The only way to feel love.
She has no respect for herself,
And no help from above.
With each touch she falls further,
Losing any sense of conviction.
But she keeps going back,
With an affection addiction.
“How did I get like this?”
She demands in the dark.
All hope is lost;
An invisible spark.
Flaming hot anger,
Courses through icy veins.
She fights not to fight,
But the rage takes the reins.
Smoke in the air,
She lies every day,
To support a sick habit,
That keeps everything away.
A flickering light,
Beneath a cold, silver sheet.
She escapes from her life.
So she and Satan can meet.
“I’m done with this bullshit.”
She gives up on the climb,
As she picks up the razor,
And cries one last time.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,293 Literary Works • 673,080 Reviews
heyy, even though it was dark (like everyone had pointed out), I thought it had a lot of depth. And I think that's one thing we writers always are striving to complete in a descriptive piece. Well done
Oh, wow. Strong poem, strong feelings that I get from reading.
Your way of starting the poem is great. With that dialogue, you make the readers focus on your poem.
Great start!
I can't point out any mistake, you did a wonderful job with this poem.
Thanks everyone. I really don't like it though. Any advice on what could make it better?
Wow. Yes rather dark poetry, but don't change your style - It's unique and still reallyy goodd!
Hello! Wow this is a very dark poem! But seriously, I liked it. You are a very talented writer! It's hard to find rare talented writer like you.
All of all, I love it.
Keep writing,
Alicia.
this was nice. i liked it. you could probably put some paragraphs or something in there, instead of it being just one big block (though im not one to talk...working on it though :p) it's a nice piece. hope you continue writting poetry. you're good.
pm me if you need review or advice.
Soap
great talent in poetry.. the subject feels dark though.. hope to read other poetry of yours with lighter subject