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Re: Deathly Mint
So...this piece is interesting. It's quite relate-able to me, but it has be a bit confused. It sounds so dramatic and morbid, for lack of a better term, and I'm ...
May 5, 2015 -
Re: There are Some Couples
interesting idea here. I'm not sure I'm familiar with your work...but looks like you've written even more poetry than me;) so I just have some general tips: I think, overall, ...
May 1, 2015 -
Re: Even when I am dead
sup bro! I haven't read any other reviews yet so I apologize if I'm repeating any suggestions... " In this life, everyone loves someone. But I will love you even ...
Apr 26, 2015 -
Re: The Town of Whill
I love where this derived from and your use of language! It stayed very consistent throughout the piece. It's kind of a like a Romeo and Juliet, had Juliet married ...
Apr 23, 2015 -
Re: Mortality
What an incredible theme here! Really dark, but real and hard-hitting. I love it. Your detail and wording was pretty spot-on for the most part. I particularly love the way ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: The dream of a song...
This has great potential and I don't have much to say now about nit-picky things. My brain is fried from reviewing today! However, general suggestions: to make this more pleasing ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: Pats Poem
Hey there! First off....I know nothing about football. BUT I do love poetry! So I can review this from a writers' standpoint, not a sports fan's. xD sorry Overall the ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: "The Witnesses of Death" Revised Pt 2-2
OH MY GOSH YOU CHANGED THE BLEEPING ENDING YOU....! *deep breath* Okay. Calming down now. Some stuff: Instead of having to apologize for the split-beginning xD you could start off ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: "The Witnesses of Death" Revised Pt 1-2
Oh well hey! Here's something I didn't notice. You already...revised these...hehe... Coolio. DUDE I LOVE YOUR NEW DESCRIPTION AND DETAIL, ESPECIALLY AT THE BEGINNING It adds almost a touch of ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: "The Witnesses of Death"
Dude I had no idea you were writing short stories!!! Can I just say I love that? It takes me FOREVER to write stuff and you're doing so well! Muy ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: Lovelost
The main reason I don't like lyrics is they're too repetitive and shallow, so I usually turn to poetry. But man did you defy those standards! I love the theme ...
Mar 8, 2015 -
Re: A Few Visits With Dr. Snazzy
I like that, in spite of the very random happenings in this short story, it all has a general structure. You're very good at letting your characters shine through in ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: Keep Dreaming.
I like the imaginative, almost celestial feel of dreaming mixed with spirituality. I'm not much of a lyricist, so here's some general suggestions/questions: Are you adding more to this? I'd ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: Alex
Hey there. So some general suggestions: I like that you flesh this out with not overly doing dialogue, but in this case I think you could use even more to ...
Mar 5, 2015 -
Re: The true suicide story
I like how your title reels us in, that this must be captivating and informative at the same time. I'm going to give some overall suggestions here: I'm thinking to ...
Mar 4, 2015
