tgirly

Rereading it, I noticed you used about five '...'s. I think '...'s are kind of like exclamation points; the more you use them the less they mean. So maybe you ...

Wow, I love this poem. I kinda wish the rhyming scheme was a bit more concrete, but that's fine; I really love this. I just wish thoughts and earth somehow ...

I really could sense the mood through this piece, and I really liked the imagery. I wish the stanzas were more uniform in length though, it would make it feel ...

My favorite would probably be It's Been a While and my least favorite Silly Human because it doesn't really have any imagery in it and it needs more detail, even ...

Hey, this poem is really good too; very inspiring. The title's a tad long and the last stanza doesn't really have as much flow as the rest of the poem, ...

Okay, I'm here to review your prologue and also to force you to tell me when the first chapter comes out, because I'm hooked. I love your first sentence and ...

Oh, wow. This poem is SO SAD. I probably would've started crying, if I hadn't been looking at it from a critic's point of view and noticed a few grammatical ...

What I meant was, you can try, but it seems like it would be hard to. I'm quite flattered you'd want to.

I really like the format of this poem, the word and the description. I feel like something with the "slump" part should be at the beginning too so that it ...

I don't know, maybe but probably not. Thanks!

In the second stanza, I don't think you should end two lines with 'fly,' though I don't know what you could change it to. I like this poem a lot, ...

I think it could have a better rythm, but I really like the message and I feel sorry for the job, so nice job. Sorry I don't really have much ...

I like this poem! My only critic would be that maybe you could put "I" and "Am" on the same line. Other than that, it's perfect! -Tally-wa

BTW: it's spelled Realization, not Realisation. And welcome to YWS! :)

LOL, love the little note at the bottom for us Americans! Your piece had humor and the start of conflict (love triangle!) And you definitely got into character. You put ...