Published March 6, 2012
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,628 Literary Works • 675,274 Reviews
I agree, add an introduction that ties in with the conclusion. Also, punctuation in the first stanza, I thought you meant people never knew friendships. So, you could clear that up by adding punctuation. Also, I like dead as the snow. Add some more imagery to the other lines and that could help a lot.
Hope this review was in some way helpful or something. Keep writing!
I really like the format of this poem, the word and the description. I feel like something with the "slump" part should be at the beginning too so that it all fits. But then again I kind of like how it's just a short little poem thats straight to the point. Keep writing, thanks for sharing the poem!
Tgirly