silented1

You're starting off with half of an idea. It's basic with half an idea to it. Like, If you see a silhouette. Something extra, like the word do. It gives ...

This is a thrilling poem! I loved it. You have some rawness to it! But: You have a continuity problem! You look around the room, push your stuff into your ...

You are an inspiration to us all, Make this a metaphor because it would work so well. You could really make a strong comparison that is then dropped during transition ...

This is unrefined and so good at some points. It's simple. I liked the angel in the shape of a moose. You could do better to make it less repetitive. ...

The sky, never ending abyss, an abyss doesn't look like anything. Try an image like a cup of black coffee. Something to give us an idea. I mean, am abyss ...

Okay, so your rhyme is good, it makes sense. But, your flow between rhymes is off sometimes. So, you're second line is a little off, but it's a good scene. ...

i stare at the wall for hours on end i am numb This is a good power line. Try to add a thought to it. Something personal because it would ...

Living in harmony, is that even a thing, Good thought, works well because that's a common phrase. But don't be cliché! because people clash, so it's hard to win. It’s ...

staring into a sheet of glass reflecting my visage. Use something more descriptive than visage. Because visage invokes the idea of what I think is the speaker not an image ...

This is really well written. it's harvest season and early august acidity Your enjambment works well here because you're creating separate ideas with it. It could be bad because the ...

heat overpowers any form of life within I think this line is more of an idea than it is a piece of a poem. It's a great idea too. its ...

An image would do wonders. Like, change "before my mind" to something else because it's not rhyming or very informational. A good example of how you don't do this is ...

Okay, so, I assume you wrote the line "That blurs my eyes at evening" because it conveys what you want it to. It doesn't match the poem. Try to mold ...

The cold love of winter Hits my window; I gaze Lost in the spectacular blue This doesn't make sense. Try to elaborate on the picture you're painting because winter isn't ...