If you see a silhouette,
It is simply the shape of one's face.
You can’t see their scars,
Or heartbreak,
Their state of mind,
Or the soul inside.
You can’t see the wisps of hair,
Not in place,
Undone by time, stress,
And family.
You can’t tell the color of one’s skin,
Simply the curve of their jaw,
The bridge of their nose,
And the pride and strength of their shoulders
You can’t see their wrinkles.
From smiling with life.
Or the youth in their eyes
Shining with hope
Ready for anything
You can’t see the hurt inside,
Or pent-up feelings.
You can simply see,
Their silhouette.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
I think I understand the meaning of this poem as, "we're all just people." When we don't see each other's scars, skin color, untidiness, or all the things that might make us "unpresentable" or "undesirable". It is a wonderful way of portraying this idea. A person's silhouette doesn't say much about them, but you can tell that they are a person. You can tell that they are just like you because they too are a person. However, you don't have all the things that people judge others on.
Thank you, Victoria!
You're starting off with half of an idea. It's basic with half an idea to it. Like, If you see a silhouette. Something extra, like the word do. It gives it a more complete idea that can be used and worked with and developed.
State of mind is kind of bland. You can't see their (action) that describes the state of mind.
If you did atmosphere building which is where you set a scene but not like trees or something. An emotional scene. You want to polarize your poetry toward a genre. It'll help. Make sure to switch genres so you don't get used to it.
Thank you, Silented, I will take your advice to mind!
Hey Mingan!
Wow! This is deeep! It's a really interesting idea. It's sort of like a "don't judge a book by it's cover; don't judge a person by their silhouette" thing, which is cool.'
I like the title. It's simple, and basic, but still very relevant to the poem's context. In a paradoxical way, it's simplicity makes me want to read this.
I like the way you express the idea that you don't get a lot of information about someone from that person's silhouette. These where probably my favorite lines in this part:
That's a beautiful way to put it, because we can't really see those wispy pieces of hair that stick out and frizz up in our shadows. In our silhouette, we only see an outline of an individual, just a vague shadow in the place of a complete, flawed human being.
I love this part, because it sort of presents a contrast to the previous part, and is a little more optimistic. It's sort of like a song or a musical piece in which you switch from a minor to a major chord, and suddenly it sort of uplifts the mood.
I really like how you end. Like the entire poem, it's starkly simple, but somehow very deep, and beautiful:
On the whole, I loved the poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.
Keep writing. <3
Thank you, NivedaJames!
Hi slubbs here with a review:D
First of all, dayummmm I loved this deep poem!
Every word you used was meaningful, it all built up the poem perfectly.
I like the way you expressed detail throughout the poem.
The flow was perfectttt! I loved this poem so much I have nothing negative to say.
Overall you put so much power and meaning into such a short poem. Well done!!!!
Cant wait to read more of your works.
~slubbs
Thanks Slubbs!
Hello! Pix here to review this lovely poem for you!
I have to start out by saying, this peice really moved me. With everything going on in the world right now, I think that it's super important, not to look at someone as a stereotype-- and I really think you beautifully expressed that within this poem.
I think it was also amazingly powerful, and I'm very impressed at your ability to somehow grab my attention within the first two lines. I was immediately drawn in, and I couldn't stop reading once I started.
Your format was a perfect choice for this, and the short lines create a more dramatic theme to this poem-- so I applaud you for that!
Overall, I couldn't find anything wrong with this poem and it really touched me. I can't wait to read more of your work!
-Pix
Thank you Pix!