perdido

Unlike what the previous reviewer seems to believe, the poem is not in iambic pentameter. I mean... the second foot is inverted... and there are several lines that have more ...

full of cliche, completely devoid of sensory detail, repetitive, forced rhyme, inactive, uninteresting, nearly style-less. here is my advice. When you write, try to SHOW and not TELL. Which is ...

typos. Seems slapdash, random words seem to be capitalized at times. I don't know. This poem didn't interest me in general. I didn't find the imagery good... actually I didn't ...

I donno, I think there are too many questions. When i read the second line, I almost thought it was about the end of the world. So then in the ...

ugh. One thing that bugged me was that every new line started with a capital. You don't have to do that, you capitalize and punctuate poetry like you would prose. ...

i'd say that there is a narrative here. I thought the repetition, the promise motif was effective, the dialogue in particular is pretty powerful, I liked the specific details, reminders ...

Like a shadow he enters my realm, my solitude Darkening my thoughts and purging the light. He whispers harsh, seductive, daring words Pulling me to desperate action. first thing, sorta ...

if you'd like comments only about punctuation, I'd say you don't need about 75% of the commas you used. You especially don't need them at the end of lines, usually ...

This poem is as you say, personal, but not much more. I felt like the big fancy words were wasting my time, over modifying certain phrases and nouns into meaninglessness. ...

alphabet spinster, with needle and thread and slow syllables collected like buttons in a bag, she speaks soft with a voice like thrush in the wind and there is a ...

i am wondering why random words are capitalized. Bear, sew, seems. Are these typos or was it intentional. If it was intentional then, well, the way we'd say it in ...

out of 6,775,235,741 people in this world, one girl sees the real me. so erin, ignore this ramble. it only applies to the other 6,775,235,740. how dare you all? how ...

again, you are misusing semicolons. (Here's a hint, there should be a complete sentence on both sides of the semicolon). It's funny, I can give you almost the exact same ...

I'm just going to type things here as I'm reading. If you don't know how to use semicolons properly, don't use them. Try to vary your sentence structure a little ...

Remove me, from the land of Nod, upon the beginning of October: the second rodent obtains the degenerate milk product, though the prime-arriving hand-bird acquires the mud-crawler – half the ...