nickelpickle

First of all, good story... I liked it. Here are a few nitpicks. Your paragraphs were difficult for me to read. I would cut them in half if you could ...

First of all, welcome. Second, this was horrible. Let me be the first to say it. Expect it from others, cause that's what's coming. You think your all that, You ...

Okay, I'm not one of the older ones, but this was horrible. You told us what an urge wa ,it didn't flow like a poem, it was full of cliches ...

The ripples in the water are not gentle anymore Amazing beginning. Powerful, meaningful... I watch heavy glass fall into Shades of translucent blue The water waving to the departing hills ...

I liked it a was ammusing, especially the thing about her gouging her eyes out...quite amusing, very well written..just one little nitpick.. My wisdom teeth had been taken out. I ...

Iam going to put in corrections below each stanza... End of all Hope, Beginning of Eternal Sadness He tries to speak out, but go ahead don’t listen to him, nobody ...

hmm...I wont say what I would do, cause that would be bad advice....heres my suggestion: try to sit down and talk to your mom...a lot of time, mothers understand things ...

*cough cough* *mutters about a certain someone with NOO patience...* heh...jk, MG.... Once again, you should have waited for me to come and help.... lol...A better poem than your normal ...

Many people here have read my rant on explanataions on poems. (I hate them btw) The whole thing about "please keep criticism to a minimum" or "take it easy please" ...

I started critiquing your poetry so I should probably finish...Here goes... People of the Past Forgotten for there service, Shaping us in different ways, Proud for what they have done. ...

I don't know why, but I am oddly attracted to your poetry. I tear it apart, yes, but I am drawn to it... Heroes of heart, they do not part, ...

After I tore your other poem apart, I saw this one...Here goes.... First off, you used punctuation and stanzas and I congratulate you for it. There is a Land of ...

*sighs* You say that there is too much repetition. I would suggest doing something about that before posting it here, because people don't really want to read continuous repetition, much ...

Yay, I walked proudley down the empty dark alleyway I didn't come last I came third...last But there was something missing So I bought something for my victory Sunchips and ...

On his knees on the cold, aching earth His hands pressed against each other The eyes, moist with tears, squinted together The raggy head descending This is good, but I ...