maryletsflyaway

The last sentence two lines in this poem are probably my favorite! I would love if you could get as specific with the rest of the piece as you do ...

Parts of me really want to like this poem, but there are some things I really can't get over. First off, the ambiguity is what is killing me. This could ...

I like it, but I find to be the rhythm yo abrupt for the language you are using. I think playing around with form, might help you express your ideas ...

This is SO generic. What you have done here is present the reader with ideas, but you don't support the ideas with anything. You leave us hanging at the end ...

I think making this rhyme could definitely add to the tone you are going for. The next step here is to write more because write now the reader is only ...

Wow. This is pretty intense. I like your idea of "the shackles of society", but I don't understand why you feel this way from this poem. Obviously there is hurt, ...

This has to be my favorite type of poem, minimal punctuation, and short lines! I am an advocate of straightforward prose in poetry and here you are doing it excellently! ...

In agreement with what the last person said: this poem does not flow very well. The concept is of course great; who doesn't like to get out of writer's block ...

I like the ideas in this poem, but I think it may have just a few too many. I understand the fruit metaphor, but not so much as to why ...

You are definitely telling instead of showing what has happened to you here. That's my only qualm with this piece, and I struggle with that sometimes to. Overall it was ...

This is good, BUT I feel like you could have done sooooooo much more with this and expanded it so many directions. I really would love to see you take ...

This is interesting, only I never fully understand what your trying to say. It's implied, sure, but it's all sort of just skimming the surface. The line "'cos it's something ...

Oh my God! This was amazing. It was so deep and sensual. I was really moved by this piece. My only qualm was the fact that at one point you ...

I don't see any direction with this poem and it's relatively obvious that you have writer's block (no offense). Someone told me once that I wrote a poem that was ...

This was good, but we don't know anything about the characters except what they are feeling or doing in these few moments you right about. You definitely were able to ...