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139,521 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
sorry for involving my personal feelings, you are right. when writing two lines is not a poem. it short and the essence of what you are trying to portray is not expressed... your words, you have no poetic devices which make you work seems as though you are just complaining. keep at it and maybe one day you would edit these words and have an amazing poem. great start.
keep up the work.
This has to be my favorite type of poem, minimal punctuation, and short lines! I am an advocate of straightforward prose in poetry and here you are doing it excellently! I used to get bashed a lot on this site for not using punctuation, but what you have done here is a prime example of why I think punctuation is unnecessary.
This poem also has one idea, and the way you stick so clearly to that is quite refreshing. You don't go off into excessive imagery about your ideas. Sometimes poetry can be just telling us something, and sometimes we really don't need to be shown. Good job for telling it like it is!
I definitely agree with you pigeon. Two lines really? waste of my time. Thank God you have a mother who wants to see you do good in school, thank God your mother remembers things about you. Why not write a poem thanking your mother for caring that you have a better education, an education that she may not have had the opportunity to have had. life is hard and the faster you accept that you would learn to appreciate the little stuff.
omg lol that's not a review, that's an invalidation of my feelings. How about you look at the poem, not criticise me for feeling the way I do.
I mean, yeah, I haven't expressed it well enough, so you don't know if my feelings are justified or not, but your job as a reviewer is to help me with that expression, not telling me I'm wrong.
I am fully entitled to feel what I am feeling and you trying to tell me otherwise is just really gross.
I'm the first to admit that this is not a good poem - in fact, I was the first to comment that here - so how about you help me to improve rather than telling me how silly I am?
The second I see "MOTHER DOESN'T LOVE ME WAAH" I automatically think "angsty teen". So, either provide more detail and convince me she really doesn't love you, or don't expect to be taken seriously. Very few mothers genuinely don't love / only love out of obligation.
I am an angsty teen though! I have no delusions about that.
Haha, in this case, wonderful. :3
Go angsty teenagers! *akward high five*
So, um, sorry. This is rubbish. I will attempt to salvage it some day soon. Maybe.