lillizard

Okay, lets get started... Firstly, I would like to say that i really liked your poem. However, there are some parts that are lacking in continuation. As bonafide previously pointed ...

Okay, let's get started. First off, welcome to YWS samarah. Secondly, you are only supposed to post a story or poem once a day. Although, two is okay... Anyway, here's ...

The poem is a boring, wannabe tear-jerker about how the narrator messed up her life. Don't listen to Incan. He's a little too harsh. Besides, he could find fault in ...

Nice story. However, the descriptions are a little overdone in my opinion (especially in the begining). Well, let's get started. The light’s illumination shone two very luster reflections which belo

I completely agree with everyone else. This poem is good, but doesn't have enough imagry, is not very exiting, and is very cliche. Now, on to the critiquing. Your no ...

Yeah. Well, bubbles said almost all of it. This really-no offence-of no intrest to the reader. If this is what you need to write to introduce yourself in YWS, then ...

Very Nice poem! I would regularly go into critiquing it, but I noticed that everything I would say has already been said. So, I will just say that your poem ...

That is one depressing poem. Seriously, why are you writin about someone commiting suicide. Why don't you write about, like, someone smelling a flower or something. *sighs* ah, well, let's ...

AHHK!!! I'm sorry, but that wasn't a very good poem at all. The ryhming was forced, and the rythm was atrotious. You've really got to work more on your poetry ...

Very nice!!! I don't know if I'll be able to critisize anything in this poem... GAH!!! Can't...find....anythin to say bad things about! Oh, wait, I found something, although it really ...

Very nice poem. However there were a few flaws, although they really were kinda minor. And see, whether i care Take out the comma. It really takes away the flow. ...

Um, well, there are a couple things wrong with your poem. Firstly there's the rythm. Like mentioned earlier, the ryhming kinda' through the rythm off. I think that the poem ...

Firstly, this poem is somewhat depressing. Secondly, I dont' have a lot of critiquing to do, for three lines. Ah, well, here goes. Under the pressure of a million eyes ...

There once lived some chosen people who had powers that normal people defined as..."unnatural". NO! Never say anything like that! Don't start a story by saying something like "Okay, there ...

Very nice story. Again, like Snoink said, great dialouge. Although, the story could really use a couple more descriptions. You can see the boy in your head, but you need ...