ireylcadence

Hey, would this be inspired by Train's "Drops of Jupiter", by any chance? Anyways, lovely poem here. Strong and effective imagery, especially the first two lines (though watch out for ...

As an American, I'm not really familiar with the Canadian Women's suffrage movements, so I can't offer any comments on historical accuracy and the like. On the writing though, I ...

I loved this!The ending was certainly a snappy surprise, especially since your beginning made it seem like it would be something a bit more serious. The imagery is great--you really ...

Same situation, welcome back to you! :) Congratulations to you, and this is a very nice little poem to celebrate. As Lumi said, watch out for some little nit-picky things. ...

First things first, the second line is grammatically incorrect. You might want to replace "no ordinary" with "unordinary" or something of the like. Second, though the poem itself flowed very ...

Hi. Nice, descriptive poem you've got here. The imagery is great, but I feel like your sentence structure, especially in the beginning, is a bit choppy. Maybe try and vary ...

It's a nice idea, but I think this can be developed way more. You need a background, and you need more description and imagery. It is a bit too confusing ...

I'm not sure if you meant for us to pause at the end of the line breaks because if so, at some places, I think they were unnecessary. Por ejemplo: ...

I like the "broken heart syndrome", though as Snoink mentioned, it's a rather cliched way to approach the topic. Still, I think naming the "disease" is a nice creative twist. ...

Definitely like the structure here. The lines flow well, and it's very readable. The poem seems a bit too blunt though. You are telling, not showing. Perhaps that was your ...

It doesn't have to rhyme. However, poems do need to have a rhythm in order to distinguish it from prose. Right now, it's kind of hard to find the flow ...

Kaylee seems like a very lovable character--a little Pippilongstocking-esque? It's great that you were able to do that within the first chapter, since now I do want to follow her ...

Welcome to YWS. :) The poem needs some work in terms of flow. It tends to get a bit too wordy. For example: Letters in my mailbox is the only ...

May I just suggest that you don't type your poem in neon pink? It makes it rather hard to concentrate. ;) The poem itself is very sweet. I'm sure whomever ...

Very elegant. I loved it entirely. Best part was that not only was it full of emotion and flowed, which is all that lyrics actually require, but it was also ...