fireheartedkaratepup

I can't find the rhythm. And I thought We don't wanna think, we wanna be entertained sounded a bit awkward--too wordy for one line. One thing I find confusing is ...

I would take out the first comma--read it out loud. You wouldn't normally pause ther, so I don't think you need it in this poem. I don't think anything's wrong ...

I actually didn't see anything wrong with it. Maybe it's because I'm used to reading stories about dogs and wild animals and my dad's a hunter, but I understood right ...

Just to make things confusing, I'm gonna disagree with those before me. Haha just kidding (about the confusing part.) I think this is great. I don't think you should change ...

I can so relate to this. The only thing I'd suggest is: "I imagine myself walking through the hallways Of that sea called school" Other than that, this is tragically ...

The only thing I'd say is to break it up into stanzas. Also, it looks like you did this on the new version of Word, which doesn't do single space ...

Seems a bit forced to me--I guess it's the rhythm or something. Other than that, I like it--very easy to identify with, especially I guess I trusted you too fast ...

Mmmnnn. I love this. So true. I find it somewhat odd that this has a peaceful feeling for me--it's very sad, yet it's true, and the way it's written and ...

Nice repetition. Just know that some people might having trouble following it (my eyes can't follow numbers very well, and the same goes for repeated things--the brain kinda tunes them ...

I love this, I'm tired, I can't think of a critique, I'm sorry. :P I like Onion Stew. Tis true. I don't get the transition to laundry in Paper Foxes, ...

I'm with Kathy. I kinda freakin love this. I cahn see why you'd leave it as sing--doesn't make sense, but fits with the rhyme. Some of it seems a bit ...

HAHAHAHAHA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW MrMcnasty really had fun there! (Yes, I know his real name is something different.) I'm not sure if I never want him to review my stuff, or if ...

I don't think this should be in poem format. It's too conversational and not poetic enough. As a piece, it's pretty good--you have some good thoughts. However, these are thoughts ...

Hokay then, I'll just shoot for second place. Seriously, this is REALLY good. I like the ending--it's a good place to leave off, and leaves the reader wanting more. At ...

I'm gonna be completely honest. I wasn't very impressed. You should either use "curly black hair" just "the back of my head." And what happened with the jocks? Did they ...