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UPDATE: Now available on iTunes!
IF I WERE A DC WRITER
(Melancholy Tune)
There are things in this world that a smile can’t push away
You thought you’d still be here by my side to get everything straight
But now there’s a candle in the corner of your room being lit by a sinister smile
You’re waiting for the light to slowly fade
‘Cause you know I’ll never be with you tonight
We’re both locking up all the pain inside
Oh, you can’t save me from my misery
Just like you can’t save yourself from yours
I am steady
Standing breathlessly
Fighting against the floor
The sky is pretty gloomy even with its design of a silver crescent moon
We’re like a thousand miles apart but I can still hear your heart cry that melancholy tune
And we both don’t have the guts to be together
The question in your mind:
“Is she a mistake that can never be undone?”
Now, look closely at that miracle as she plays underneath the sun
One of the best things that you’ll ever have is all that she is – all her love
So show her how important it is to care, be grateful for everything
That’s enough…
Look at yourself,
Pretended to be strong,
Well, now you ain’t so tough
‘Cause you can’t save me from my misery
Just like you can’t save yourself from yours
I am steady
Standing breathlessly
Fighting against the floor
The sky is pretty gloomy even with its design of a silver crescent moon
We’re like a thousand miles apart but I can still hear your heart cry that melancholy tune
And you know perfectly that we’ll never be together
I’m not crossing this line
Must stay under this gray sky for awhile
All past hopes have drifted into the dark
Is fate simply keeping us apart?
Do you know how it feels when a face so innocent is staring you down?
– telling you to never come around till you’ve opened up your mind?
And I tell you, even if you’ve spared millions of lives...
You’ll never save me from my misery
Just like you can never save yourself from yours
I am steady
Crying breathlessly
A dream is a dream in this crazy world
Look at the sky sprinkled with glittering stars…
You walked in and gave us a start
But I’m sure my heart won’t be failed to be found,
and someone else will stick with it – love me till the end
Though destiny seems to be saying, “Never”
And a piece from the past might stick with me forever
Like this melancholy tune I wrote for her…
You can’t save me from my misery,
Just like you can’t save yourself from yours
---------------------------
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139,316 Literary Works • 672,529 Reviews
Jash..... Wow.
Just wow. This is so peaceful and powerful - I absolutely love it. You have a beautiful, wonderful voice. The music is lovely and the lyrics are so well put together. Such talent!
Promise me something? Don't you ever stop singing.
Beautiful.
Thanks, sweetie! Go CSI! xD
Hello there,
Great stuff Jash!
Personally I loved this. It was expressive, interesting and spoke truthfully. For me this was a really great reassuring bit of writing. Unfortunately though I couldn't manage to access the you tube clip so I just looked 0ver the lyrics and they were very cool! I couldn't find any flaws in this and the grammar was also good. I liked the whole thing from the title to the concluding line. Keep up the great lyric writing and I hope that next time you tube won't be so annoying and that I will actually get to watch the clip!
From CuteJackRussell
YYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
This is now available on iTunes! xD
xD I love classical music. (LOL) Nice question. I'm wondering now, too.
The truth is, I'm in a lot of other genres, too. This is just the first we could record 'cause it's simple. =))
HAHAHA, what is it about really mean stuff that makes people laugh? At some point it goes from "Aww, that's so mean. :'(" To "HAHAHAHAHAHA it was so mean I love I want to read it a million times" (well maybe not but still.)
And I wonder if the people who think it's boring have ever listened to classical music. NOT attacking, just wondering....... *walks away whistling*
@ animekaratepup, no... that review also cracked me.
Sharp, girl! sharp! xD Thanks for the like. ;**
Okay, the first description of the sky could be literal to the story line of the song. The second one is figurative.
I have to agree with Crestfallen
Oh yeah, forgot to say--I don't like the lines. They're not necessary--any pauses/etc in the song should be added vocally (except for the mandatory different lines/stanzas, of course.) I think they take away more than they add to the lyrics.
HAHAHAHAHA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW MrMcnasty really had fun there! (Yes, I know his real name is something different.)
I'm not sure if I never want him to review my stuff, or if I want him to review everything RIGHT NOW so I can get used to it. XD
Seriously, it cracked me up cuz he was so harsh. (Is that bad? Meh, I think you'll get it, right? Right?)
I absolutely love it. Seriously, it's been stuck in my head for days.
As for the title, meh....some songs by popular artists have two titles, and they're really successful.
From the opposite viewpoint, you should either use the original title and let people guess, or just use Melancholy Tune--it fits the mood of the song and it's a line near the end, so it's a good fit.
I think it's funny that someone else said you were an alto--I love you most on the high notes, and thought you struggled with the low ones sometimes in the other songs you have on youtube. (I have trouble putting power intoe the lower lyrics myself.) I love the peaceful feeling, and I think most people, especially teens, can identify with it fairly easily.
I did notice something--you talk about the sky being gloomy even though it's lit up by the moon in the chorus, and then say you'll stay under this gray sky for a while--which is it? (XD)
All in all, it makes me think of one of the Batboys standing on the rooftops at night, possibly talking to a love interest. (It could go so many different ways in the DCU. Like, it could fit practically any character, I think.)
Oh, hi, crestfallen!
Thanks for taking the time to check this out! I'm not expecting to please everyone though. =) Who can? 
Thanks, cupcake! ;**
I didn't care too much for this. The singing was too boring as well. Try harder next time
You have such a good voice and it's a really good song too. Thats all I have to say. Keep up the great work!
Guys, thank you. =) I want you to know that I'm considering each and every review/comment I get. That's a fact. And it's up to people whether they choose to believe it or not.
I may have said this a dozen times: Thank you!
Hello there Jash.
I wasn't really going to say anything because other users have said so much already, so mine's just a comment. Anyway, you are really talented! and that's why I felt compelled to say something. Your lyrics are also quite deep. I just hope that someone else notices your talent and you're discovered or something soon!
Anyway that's all I wanted to say. Good job.
This is really great
I loved your lyrics, but I was also curious to hear you sing them, so I looked you up on youtube. It was really sweet. You play piano beautifully, and your lyrics sound even better when you sing them. I love this part:
You sang this part nicely. Well done! Pat on the back from me. Keep up the good work!
-Smyli ;P
Annie, hey, thanks for checking out. Oh, you can always team up with any lyricist here at YWS!
There are a lot of great songwriters out there looking for someone to sing their songs for them. 
Emalily, thanks. =)
Oh and i forgot to say you have a beautiful voice!!
Wow everything about this song is so beautiful! The lyrics, the melody and the video is great!
Well done!
I love it so much. I wish- a great many things. I have a lovely voice (sorry for bragging, but how else are you supposed to know?) but I find it hard to actually write a song. You- soooooooooooooo aweeesooooooooooooooommmmmmmmme. Pay no attention to MMM, he's just being stupid. Though I agree that adding 'Oh' in a song is NOT cool. You are lucky. I don't have any real chances to let the world hear my voice.
Hey, Purp. Thanks for the comments. I do need to practice my falsetto, eh? Hmmmf... I'm gettin' there... soon? (LOL)
Over all, I definatly like it (and yes I will press the button when I'm done). The learics have meaning and are something orrigional, but they could use a little bit of editing. Your voice is definatly an alto. On those moments when you stepped off the suprano notes your voice really made an impression. Your high notes were verging on pitchy and getting close to the end of your range. I'm not saying stay well inside your comfort zone, but make sure you can still make your voice real and meaningfull.
And honestly, just because you wrote it when you were 14 does note make it bad; then again I'm 14, but really, anyone with ears can see it all came from deep inside (if that makes any sence).
Anyway, please keep singing and good luck!
Mr. Meanie...
=) He was sure about it. O_o
kidd', girl. I just don't want to spoon feed and force people to say, "Aaaah..." That's something people will have to figure out on their own. So far, no one's getting it. O_o Don't worry: I won't let people put me down. Thanks for the reminder, Ka! ;**
What a review! Thank you for your time scrutinizing my piece. I truly appreciate that. I thought though - as a music critic, and it was your job before - that you would understand it, and you would not be comparing me to people who already have been, with their music which already have been. (Wait, did that make sense? LOL)
But I suggest that you read more books about music, such as This is Music by David Randolph. If you don't have a copy, come here in the Philippines and I'll be glad to lend you my copy. =)
Jen, LOL He was joking about
D
E
A
T
H
before he did that.
Kaka,
It's a secret.
But be proud? O_o Oh, kaka... that's something else.
Jashie
Another epic song. Can I be honest?
I didn't read the lyrics, I just watched the video. It's more fun! I'm sorry.
I like it though, I really do. The lyrics are moving, I would be crying right now if I had emotions. Which I don't. I have a stone cold heart. D:
Anyway, be proud and don#t let anyone put your work down~Its awesome! (Except the title) What has the title got to do with anything? I mean...DC?
Ignore me, I'm ignorant.
Hey.
The piano was absolutely beautiful and the lyrics were well written as well. I'd nitpick but when I heard the song I found that the way you wrote it made it flow well when you sang. When you go into the lower notes, do you realize you kind of sound like Kitchie Nadal?:) Anyway, I liked the package, music and lyrics, and the video was great as well.
It took me a while to register that you were from the Philippines.XD I was like 'was that... a jeep?'. 
)
I think it's the first time I'll ever comment on one of your works but I've read a couple previously.
I really liked the song.
Jas, I'm used with critics like these. It's part of being an artist. You don't let people drag you down just because they dislike you. He was right with this:
Better early than sooner.
Hey,
Werd Jenthura. Throughout the entire review I was like, 'Oh Jesus. This is an amazing review. This is a horrible review. Poor Jashy'.
~Jas
Wow. MMM's review is brutal, yet...amazing in a strange way. There is really nothing left to review after that. O_O
Your voice is absolutely gorgeous!! I loved listening to this song and never wanted it to end. Fantastic job! You're so talented, what with the violin, piano, singing and all...
WELL, Jashy, it's time this happen. I knew it would. Hell, we all knew it would happen one day. As I said, this was my job for a while, reviewing albums and listening to the tracks, and I was forced to send out little snippets and opinions. Never did I have this much freedom to express my opinion. Let's have fun : )
For kicks here's an aside: one of the albums I reviewed was Weezer's Hurley. I gave them a maliciously pedantic review, for a nonsensical piece of junk. There are some decent things on it, but in all, I was annoyed Weezer wasted my time after making such good use of it before. I'm used to the attention you get on here, being featured, Youtube, and what not. So like my job before, I am expecting a lot and giving the blunt honest truth.
There's no turning back now~(by the way, the giant font at the beginning of your post is annoying. You aren't selling me anything, just give a clear link, and don't beg for a like. If it deserves one, I'll actually remember to like it. I almost never do because the "like" system is completely broken. So PLEASE highlight the actual thing that should be payed attention, your lyrics. Not the video. Not the view count. Thanks.)
The title is nebulous and really doesn't mean a thing. Also, melancholy tune? Well thanks, I guess it wasn't obvious that poetry is typically emotional and has imagery or that photography takes pictures of....things?!(photo of something besides paint). Get my point? Why bother listing that? No one does that, for good reason (if you keep tacking things on, we start wondering if you don't trust us, yourself, or are just insecure; you need a damn good reason, this isn't one). I would toss this it into the burn pile if I had just received it, seeing the title, in order to help myself make the best use of my time. I'm looking for what will have potential and won't be laughed at or make me look dumb (or p-o my editor). The obvious is an insult to me and the listener.
Jashy, jashy. ditch the cute lines. You're telling me you realize that your lines, phrasing, and rhythm aren't very good (why else space them over but to make it look like it fits?). And since you gave me a video, I can tell very well. These lines are full of consonants, and a complete mess to sing. Do you hear your voice go "hiiiiiiiiiiiigh" and then back down? It's like you can't quit puberty. Also, why reverse the use of smile? That's confusing and completely bothersome for a listener. Look at the stress here (bold is stressed, non is not): 'Cause you know I'll never be with you tonight/". That's god awful and impossible to sing with a rhythm. Were you writing a poem?
Really, why are you saying you wrote this back then? You were 14? OK. Why record this and post it for people to see? I mean surely, you're not saying your creative genius has been that long, right? You do realize if you told me that, I'd think you were an arrogant cuss? I hope you don't tell people that if you send this to their recording companies. Save face, good god, and don't be honest. Honesty can make you look like crap.
THIS understands how to use rhythm and flow like you clearly don't. It doesn't need a video. Listen to Paul's voice, he isn't FORcing THE issuE. OK? He's chilling and be natural with the music; he gets that he isn't the focal point! Novel concept (another bad idea with video's, I see your intentions) You really are belting out sound without considering my poor ears who have no choice but to hear you.
What? OH? "Oh?" who uses oh? OH, for a nightingale come and peck this line out of my eyes. This song is incredibly self-centric, self-concerned, self-obsessed. Is that all this is about?
Great, so we're screwed? God, get yourself together. I really don't care how you end this. You voice doesn't add anything to this song. And the song is a poor pony ridden to a broken back. How much time did you waste on the video? And "yours---floor" is a terrible rhyme. So is moon with tune. And the counter image of apart and together.
Really, is this about Internet love? Or long distance love? And you really did reference the sub-title of this? Jashy that's mindbogglingly amateur. I know, or knew thankfully and no longer, drugged up indie bands that understood that their titles were loosely tied to the song and never referenced them without a good reason.
And really, the self-hate in this is skin deep. Just start singing about getting a room. Why am I listening to you sing about this tosh? I hardly have any feeling to you or this person. Hell, no feeling. I don't feel this at all. And by the way, this is too long to establish a song.
This is precisely what you should have captured. Why didn't you? Because sappy, dramatic, superficial "Waaaaaaah" is easy to write? Be honest, because I can't cope for us both.
And at this point I toss the track in the trash and put you on the blacklist. Fourth wall, bad, even in song. I've given up on your rhythm and pace, the writing is full of holes. And the dumb colored lines. Look. You have bad spacing, bad pauses, you breathe oddly, it's an assault on ears.
What? where did this sudden twist come from? I finally get some drama and you slap me in the face?
Um. Right. This was a path down "what not to do in a song" memory lane. There's simply too much to wade through in streams of pre-pubescent sugar candy junk. Your formatting is dumb. This is purely spoken, sung word. It doesn't need you to push it over.
Stop pushing your video and likes (I wish I could dislike this, it deserves about 24 dislikes). Your lyrics need to be emphasized. They're a mess and generally, poorly executed and not thought out. Where is any of this going? just general longing? Hey There Delilah does this much better, Plain White Tees is from my area, and I hate their garbage. I think did something for them once. Never again.
You need to figure out how to present an idea and develop it with understandable relations and stop relying on your voice. By the way, you're off pitch often and miss notes. You're forcing it and I can tell. It's painful.
Just forget this. The video, the lyrics, the lack of real input. The lyrics don't communicate. They whine and express selfish sentimental pre-teen angst. This understands everything I've said and executes perfectly. Those lyrics are simple, clear, concise, and incredibly gut-wretching.
You use no imagery. So your song/problem lies in whining. Get over yourself is what I want to say. As a music critic, I'd just laugh and move on.
Hope this helps and does something useful for you Jashy.
-MMM
Amazing, Your very talented you remind me of a girl in my school who's a professional songwriter.
) but the piano is amazing. To me it's a little to word packed sometimes the words dont really go with the beat ( can't really explain) just to much at once. But then again this is just an opinion!
This is just an opinion, don't over use your high notes you lower register is fantastic just put some force behind your voice like in the 'open up the mind ' bit. I'm no expert on music, although i should able to compose ( i can't...
Keep up the great work! (clicks like)
I adored this! I am so jealous of how great you are! keep up the awesomeness!
I haven't been able to listen yet, but the lyrics are great. I like word packed songs.
I don't have much else to say, too!
--Skis
Favorited on youtube. absolutely beautiful.
Nah, it's OK!
I'm glad you liked it and got the time to check it out. Thanks! ;**
Heyo!
Woah Jash. You have an incredible voice. It's all softlile and brilliant sounding. Never stop singing. Also, those lyrics are amazing. It reminded me of poetry in a good way. You told a story- got it across well and sounded great. Lucky you!
Amazing!
P.s sorry for the short review, on an iPhone now and it's kind of annoying.
~Jas
I directed my Dad and my best friend with the angles. But my Dad said I don't need to shout it out. xD
Bubbles, thank you so much. I am a good actress. (LOL) kidding. Aww... ='> I'm so touched. Thanks! I won't... I won't stop.
I'm pretty sure that you're amazing.
I love the tone of your voice! It's really very special; PLEASE KEEP WRITING AND SINGING.
DON'T YOU DARE EVER STOP. Your lyrics feel real and I can tell you know what you're singing about. If you don't, well, you're just a really good actress(:
I liked the way that the vid was set up... who videotaped/edited/captured all of those cool angles? If it was a friend or relative, give 'em a shout-out! If it was you... then, ugh. Talllllllllllllent. ;D
Damn girl I love this song!
~Taylor
Thanks so much, Twin!
Gah... I hope so, I hope so. LOL
That is really a great song! (I didn't read the lyrics though xD. I just watched the vid) The video is great too! There's so much effort that's put into it. It's like everything was scripted! xD
The song can just end up on radios right now!! 
*thumbs up*
Thanks so much Jen!
Awesome! I love the lyrics, but the song will take a while before I can listen to you. Remember, Youtube hates me.
Anyways, great work! *like*
Are you kidding me? 2 people already liked this and no comments? *frowns... May I please know at least why you liked it? Haha... kidding. Thank you sooooo much!
-- to whoever you are. =))