I envision myself going outside,
rolling around in the barely-there snow,
just to do something at all.
Eyes open, alone.
I imagine myself walking through the hallways
of that sea called school,
crashing through each wave after wave,
eyes open, alone.
I see myself crying in the midst of this storm,
but nobody notices
even the loudest of screams,
and my eyes are wide and I stand alone.
They start to bury me,
but I can't imagine the cliche crowd as the sea wins,
and I have drowned,
eyes closed, forever by myself.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I love this! Full of emotion that carries through to the end. Sad ending, but beautiful! Love it! Keep writing!
I love this! Full of emotion that carries through to the end. Sad ending, but beautiful! Love it! Keep writing!
Nice, like the person above me said there are some spelling and expression issues. But it's a great poem, i too feel like i can relate to it. Stanzas would be nice, make the whole thing easier to read and give it a little more structure but it really is your choice, I just like stanzas.
I envision myself going outside,
rolling around in the barely-there snow,
just to do something at all.
Eyes open, alone.
I imagine myself walking through the hallways,
that sea called school,
crashing through each wave after wave,
eyes open, alone.
I see myself crying in the midst of this storm,
but nobody notices
even the loudest of screams,
and my eyes are wide and I stand alone.
They start to bury me,
but I can't imagine the cliche crowd as the sea wins,
and I have drowned,
eyes closed, forevor by myself.
It just really highlights the great repetition on your poem.
I can so relate to this.
The only thing I'd suggest is:
"I imagine myself walking through the hallways
#FF0000 ">Of that sea called school"
Other than that, this is tragically beautiful.
Oh, and it should be "forever" on that last line.