Hey, this is a poem I wrote a year and a half ago. I think my poetry has improved drastically since then, but I'd still like to know what people think about this piece. It is about Midna's thoughts and why she broke the mirror at the end of the game.
Why I Did It
I am of shadow—cool, pale, Light.
I am freedom from total night.
Allure of ancient, mystic might,
Yet unprepared I was to fight.
He, Dark and mad and strong, so came,
But had I need for all the blame?
Cast down, dethroned, exiled from same,
How he, so quick, my heart did maim!
Alone, afraid I found you, Beast,
And thought I then my pain would cease.
Abuse and use, control the Beast,
Adventure, though, proved him not least.
Defiant, facing self-made king,
We battled ‘til the sages sing.
Shining metal sweetly ring!
Oh bells of restoration ding!
I came I then to sorrow strong.
And careful, lifting coal with tong,
I made to comprehend the song.
‘Twas Princess now. So what was wrong?
The radiant sun moved my heart,
Not searing, fatal, blinding stark.
I thought the World of Light not tart,
And realized neither world could part.
The mirror, if remained that way,
Would surely call me back one day.
But duty gives me naught a say.
Shades cannot traverse how they may.
I broke the mirror. Treason? No!
My reason was I shouldn’t go,
And give my heart to boy I know.
A tear. A word. You’ve light to sow.
Do understand, I love the World of Light. But bound I am. I am Twilight.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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This is actually really good. I haven't got the Twilight princess but I;m familiar with the Legend of Aelda series. I think this poem is very well written.
I'm with Kathy.
I kinda freakin love this. I cahn see why you'd leave it as sing--doesn't make sense, but fits with the rhyme.
Some of it seems a bit disjointed, but it's still beautiful.
And if all the fanfiction is this old, I will be very sad. *tear*
I noticed this was posted a LONG time ago but I am pretty new so I will still review what I think. I love it! Yes, a few corrections already pointed out, but I love the pattern you have in the poem. It's very enjoyable. Also, what a great game!
This isn't bad. There are some mistakes, but they're easy to fix. For instance:
"Sing" doesn't fit because it's present tense.
"Naught" means "nothing," so I guess you meant "not."