A/N: I decided to also post this here for some reason... To tell you the truth it's because I scanned over Nate's Mass PM again and realized where I should post it. XD But, none the less, it's here, too.
I count the days till I see your face,
I count the days till I'm out of this place,
I count the days till we run-away,
I count the days till this pain goes away.
I'm hoping it's not far away.
I count the days till the rain goes away,
I count the days till the sun comes out to play,
I count the days till your with me again,
I count the days till your here to make me smile,
I'm hoping it's not far away.
I count the days till I can catch my breath,
I count the days till I get a rest,
I count the days till Spring changes everything,
I count the days till this land is far away,
I'm hoping it's not far away.
I count the days till we leave,
I count the days till we have peace,
I count the days till my heart is whole,
I count the days when the storm goes away,
I count the days till I see your face.
Nice repetition. Just know that some people might having trouble following it (my eyes can't follow numbers very well, and the same goes for repeated things--the brain kinda tunes them out.) That's just something to keep in mind, though--nothing wrong with using repetition as a literary device.
I think this is very rateable.
Oh, one thing--"you're", not "your". Unless you want to bother grammar nuts. 
wow, i really liked it. Especially the way you repeated the same first part on each line and the way you made it into a short story of running away with someone. Really sweet. But it didn't have a lot of expression from the person in the story. It would help to give the reader an impression on what the character is feeling by this 'plan'. Also, I don't know if you wanted the final verse to be different but there is a change in the rythm there... I think it'd be really good if was brushed up on a bit. But other than that i really liked it 
well done 
Oh, I know. My face is pretty awesome, isn't it
I know you love my awesome face ;P
Pahaha, but on a side note, this poem is really good, Addy! Why you gotta be so dang stubborn? You don't suck as much as you think you do! In fact, you correct me most of the time which means your confident enough to say that I'm wrong Miss two-years-younger-than-me-middle-schooler Love ya! Keep up the smexy work! <3
120,216 Literary Works • 649,138 Reviews
Points: 5081
Reviews: 270
Donate