fireheartedkaratepup

Very nice. Try not to use so many periods--I think dashes and commas would better serve your purpose. For instance: I tread on dangerous ground -- Bombs explode around me ...

Wow. At first I thought it was going to be whimsical and lighthearted, and then BAM, how dare you kill animals to make things. (Which I completely understand, however; it's ...

Awesome. Blind? Are we also talking about Braille books? XD The book doesn’t ask for money or companionship, just for time. I'd take out the first comma. With a careful ...

Alllrighty then. Red indicates changes. The Blood that drips from my veins Is nothing but cold bitter pain I guess that 's why life is kind of odd S o ...

Ok. First. DO. NOT. USE. ALL. CAPS. It is highly annoying and makes it seem as though you were shouting. I understand you were probably angry when you wrote this, ...

Rather beautiful. I think a new old-exploration should be "a new-old exploration". I can tell you put a lot of work into this-- thanks for uploading. Also, what's a tyndall ...

A bit confusing, but it's a dream sequence, so that can easily be excused. But she held no fear, for the voice gives her the strangest sense of relief. You ...

Hahahaha awesome. Or will I make it and shine? Ok, cliche. :P That aside, I think you should remove the and--I get what you're trying to do/say/convey, but the and ...

...................are you sure you're not writing about me? Just kidding. I'm not sure about the rhyming...I've had people told me to avoid using words just for the sake of rhyme, ...

Is this the Joker's long lost sister? Just kidding. There's some typo's here and there--lowercase i, no space between a sentence, murder where it should've been murderer--but overall I think ...

I think the part above "how dare you all" is an author's note. If so, you should separate it with "--------" or something. I like this, though the 6....... the ...

I really just skimmed over this (sorry) but one thing I noticed is your descriptions. Too much. For instance, The recently replaced, heavily worn green cushions If you want to ...

I like it. Your sentence structure is a bit choppy--you should try combining sentences to avoid fragments in the future. There are also little mistakes that I think come from ...

........I still think the "choosing to do evil things" line could be more clearly worded. I really like this, but I think you need to project more on the low ...

....................should I comment on this, since the deadline has passed already? :P I understand why you used the 'bout abbreviation--rhythm, right? Though those lines seem a bit wordy. And this ...