I Tread On Dangerous Ground
I tread on dangerous ground.
Bombs explode around me.
They do not make a sound.
I speak the truth.
I speak my pain.
I would go to the ends of the world my dear,
To drive your mind insane.
Love is one truth
I will never know.
A soul is a part of me
I will never show.
Call me evil. Hold a grudge
Try to kill me, but dare not misjudge.
I was once a boy but I was damaged.
My heart torn out, my brain was savaged.
Now I tread a dangerous ground.
Searching for a love I never found.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,799 Literary Works • 673,688 Reviews
This is beautiful! Careful not to rhyme at the expense of expressing the way you truly feel.
I love it! Its dramatic and exciting and it rhymes! Very sophisticated i can't find a problem with it so well done!
Very nice.
Try not to use so many periods--I think dashes and commas would better serve your purpose. For instance:
Like that.
Also,
Is sad. I sorry. (Don'tcha love my fantastical grammar skills right now.)