I put this into narrative poetry. I felt it belonged there more! It really does tell a story.
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This is so amazing! And very true. I love poems that tell a story. The rhymes we're great and made it more interesting but, there we're a couple of words I think we're meant to rhyme but, you couldn't really think of a word to fit. Like " Young " and " Fun " ...I would give you some advice but, rhyming is not my thing
Haha. Maybe like..Sung? And when I was with her my heart sung. Yeah..Well...The poem was really nice and I truly love it!
"Right then an arrow hit my heart, spewing out with blood. " my fav line
:D:D
KEep up girl, tears lit in my eyes while reading it . yes i've been there before ........ and you expressed beautifully
I truly thank all of you guys. God is all of the love and support I will ever need. And, so are you guys!! It's what keeps me goin'!
Wow. I don't think I've eve read a poem with this much emotion in it. All I can say is, great work, keep it up, and never give up, even when your friends give up on you.
After reading that I really don't have a good reply.
I love it.
Just remember God is always there for you!
K, thanks for your tips! Haha, yep, I agree busy people definitely get old!
...................are you sure you're not writing about me?
(It looks good to me.)
Just kidding.
I'm not sure about the rhyming...I've had people told me to avoid using words just for the sake of rhyme, but I'm still new to that concept, so...
This might be better if you used "didn't"--not sure.
Actually, I could say that about most of the places where contractions could be made, but that could just be my affinity for abbreviating things talking.
Might be better "Attacking her, or my soul would melt."
Use "as" instead of "like". It's not as...... teen-speak-ish. (?) Haha I don't know what to call it, but I think it would be.... prettier (not sure if that's the word I want) that way.
(I remember seeing this somewhere else, but I can't remember where.)
*sigh* And I completely understand the emotion behind this poem. I seem to only make friends with busy people. It gets old.
Wow, I loved it. The sad thing is is that i can relate to that. I love the way you managed to put the poem into a story explaining the way best friends always fight but make up quickily, also the not everything lasts.
Wow! Again, MissRockers, you astound me with your amazing writing ability. I think what makes this poem so great is that it tells all the truths of friendship, the ups AND the downs, and you don't shy away from the truth and try to make it seem like your friendship with her is all daisies and no thistles. And I'm sure many of us can relate to it, I know I can.
Anyway,
In any case, beautiful poem. It has a couple flaws, but if you choose not to mess with it it will still be just as great. Bravo!
~Mas
Wow!!! I liked the rhymes you used...
The ending was sad... 
But, yeah, life happens sometimes...
Altogether I liked it...
--> I really like this (although I don't have a situation like that) before I had, but it was over. Enough about the tidbits of my life.
--> I like the emotion and everything
I love this so much. This poem is full with so much emotion that I really, really love this poem. I am following you, I am telling you now. I am not exaggerating, either this expresses the ups and the downs the in and the outs.I love it.
Hahaha, thank you so much. I DEFINITELY will write a happy poem! Oh, and thanks, I hate typos!
It rhymes! Again! How do you get it to do that? It's awesome.
Now, I love it, though it depresses me just a bit, but that's life, I guess. Depressing at times even when we don't want it to be. I wish life would rhyme. (Nah, that would get annoying after 13 seconds.)
I only found one spelling error in my read through. "grone." should be groan. But, no biggie. Spelling is really the least important thing when it comes to writing. The most important is to get your message through, and I think you did it beautifully.
Keep writing! Maybe a happy poem this time!