erilea

Hey, Redbox275! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's start... 1) "So when they hit a storm, on a perfectly beautiful day, mythological myths were the last thing on her ...

Hey, maisewriting! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "I would laugh at her and then she’d pretend to hit me and say “Shut up Xander, you’re making ...

Hey, StormCycle! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in to this one... 1) "But alas, I had hoped too soon, "We were hoping you'd be the maid of ...

Hello, DivergentDemigod (and RadiantShadow)! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in... 1) "behind her own dazzling briliancy." Just wanted to say that you spelled "brilliancy" wrong; there should ...

Hey, reneehope! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's begin... 1) "Maybe if I had just stuck to my instinct, the fibers of my body that screamed what I was ...

Hello, MotherRussia! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) I don't exactly get why this is a chapter. This is only a short information dump on a reader, ...

Hey, AnarchyWolf! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in... 1) Your title bugs me, and here's why. It's a very blunt statement that sounds more like a protest ...

Hey, Camz! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "I’m trying to change With a sword at every turn" You don't make the meaning of these two lines ...

Hey, Noelle! Lupa here for a review! :D 1) "His fair skin and shaggy hair holds no spell over me." Here, "holds" should be "hold" since you're talking about two ...

Hey, Strange! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's jump in... 1) In the first stanza, the lines "Once you go in" is a bit vague to me. I think ...

Hello, godlypopo! I'm Lupa here for a review. :D Let's start... 1) "My eye’s dropped to the floor and I stepped back - " Here, it should be "eyes" because ...

Hey, chhlovebooks! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's begin... 1) "Ripping myself to pieces to put it together again," These lines fit together strangely because you refer to yourself ...

Hey, StormCycle! Lupa here for a review. :D Let's begin... 1) You do a whole lot of telling, not showing. Instead of straight-out telling the reader that David isn't happy ...

Hi, SnazzyPencil! Lupa22 here for a review from Team Snow! :D Let's jump in... 1) Your first stanza uses two generic adjectives that drive me crazy. "Good" and "nice" are ...

Hey, Anupama! Lupa here from Team Snow! :D Let's begin. 1) The first two lines are rhyming, but the rhyme sounds kind of forced. Why in the world would someone ...