z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Stuck on Osetsa

by Redbox275


Cameron Jacobs never intended to discover the mysteries of the Bermuda Triangle. She heard of that region in the Atlantic Ocean where countless planes and boats disappeared under mysterious circumstances, but she believed the silly myth was fueled by conspiracists. Instead, she chose to focused on fulfilling her duties on ship.

So when they hit a storm, on a perfectly beautiful day, mythological myths were the last thing on her mind.

To Cameron, getting caught in a storm was like of falling in love. Storms were exhilarating and hoarded every inch of her attention and energy. It could be seen from a distance or spontaneous. They made the journey feel like adventures, and then, the intensity would die down, or it would blow someplace else. However, falling in love doesn't conventionally bring the prospect of death,

The harsh weather bought chaos to their ship. Rigorous percussions of thunder, howling winds, and crashing waves overpowered everyone's voices. The sheets of rain created an unremovable filter, causing colors to melt and blur, and the unremitting rocking of the boat kept everyone in a perpetual state of imbalance. A thirty minute stroll in still water would take ten minutes during a tempest's rage.

Cameron and the blurry figures of her teammates trekked to their positions, gripping the rails. Suddenly the boat whipped to one side. Cameron and a few others lost their footing and her heart stopped when she was almost thrusted overboard. One of her fellow sailors, Cooper, caught her with a firm grip. She breathed a shaky sigh of relief. Together they advanced to their duties.

Jeff Burr ran on deck with harnesses and distributed them. Cameron grabbed one from him and hooked it onto the boat. Copper struggled with poor vision and the rain, but Cameron came to his aid, just as quick in returning the favor.

She finally reached to the sails, joining the others. They began reefing, but it was difficult. Cameron's hands were wet and frigid from the wind and rain They shook, barely able to handle the lines, but she kept on because as long as everyone carried out their roles, no matter the magnitude of the storm, they could overcome it.

Then there was a flash.

A blinding streak of light burst through the dark clouds. It struck a hole through the middle of the boat.

The ship immediately began sinking, and waves still pushed the unstable ship mercifully. Faced with the inevitable, everyone undid their harnesses.

Right when the last harness fell, a large wave rose above and pushed the ship over, causing her and the others to fall into the water.

On her way down, she grabbed Cooper's arm, and he grabbed her's. His hold was tight as a life or death grip could be. It was as painful as it was securing.

In the water, the waves bullied them. They would pull them up only to force them back down into the dark depts. Any strokes or kicks were futile with their occupied limbs. Nonetheless, they fought the waves together, but the waves were stronger than two mere humans.

They were underwater for more than four minutes. Ocean's currents formed into whirling motions but keeping them away from the surface. Her lungs felt like they were about to burst. The light they were striving for dimmed in her vision. Everywhere was exhausted, and she grew weaker. Their fight was dying a flame. Cooper and her released their holds before everything blacked out completely.

X

Cameron regained consciousness. She was lying on hard ground. Silence rang in her ears while dry air brushed against her cheeks. Her eyes opened to blue skies and puffy white clouds framed by towering buildings.

She last remembered blacking out in the Atlantic Ocean, so where was she?

Her clothes were wet. She sat up and realized she was in ashes. The ashes stuck to her hair and clothes, and she tried to brush them out, but it was a fruitless effort. Cameron stood up and took in her surroundings.

She stood on a street of an empty city. A beautiful and contemporary city struck by anarchy and abandonment. Buildings' windows were shattered. Broken glass scattered upon the sidewalks atop the layer of ash and dirt. Dents, scrapes, and large regions of rust decorated the neglected cars parked on the street while their windows were as well smashed.

The environment gave her no further answers to her location though. Was she in the afterlife? But there was no golden gate, signing angles, or even fire consuming tortured soles. Purgatory maybe?

Her feet crunched as she moved forwards with caution. She scanned her surroundings, but, so far, there were no other signs of life.

Until she heard sirens and shooting in the distance.

She froze. With each shot fired, her heart leaped. The piercing sound was like police cars sirens which was not an assuring sign of life. As the noises grew louder, she searched for a place to hide. She ran to a glass door, and warily she stepped through the shattered windows. She ducked and covered behind some overturned furniture.

The gunfires and sirens grew. It took minutes for the sirens to sound only a few yards away. Cameron peeked over the furniture. She saw boy in the middle of the street, holding a technological gun, blasting lasers at hovering drones. She rose and leaned forward for a better look.

The boy was just a teenager. He had shaggy, unkept hair and his jeans and baggy, black shirt hung loosely on his lean frame. His lit with eyes with excitement but held a sharp focus.

The drones were the sources of the sirens. Their lights flashed red and blue while the alarms waned in and out. The drones weren't very large, the size of the guy's head, but blasted bountiful amounts of lasers.

Cameron decided to wait it out, and later, search for a less violent presence. She continued to spectate the action outside. Their exchange was like a light show. The guy sent back an ample amount of bright green lasers returned by the drones' white one's. His aim was accurate, however, had a reckless flare. Occasionally the lasers would miss and crash into a window. This guy knew what he was doing though. His body was fast and sure. He shifted right, left, shoot, right, left, shoot, right, left The bright green beam soared from his weapon and collided with the drones.

Then he turned in her direction. He aimed and fired for a drone. It missed and the green beam flying at her was the last thing she saw before it hit her. It ripped through her organs, fast and clean and through the other side.

She fell back. For a moment, she was in a raw state of shock. Then pain struck her stomach, unbearable. A overbearing pain that stole her senses. Her world turning white while red gush from her torso, staining the floor. She let an agonizing scream tear out, the only way of release.

The sirens stopped and she heard running. The guy's face came into view. His expression was pure panic like he'd accidentally murdered someone—a process in progress.

She felt herself lifted from the ground and carried down the street. He held her securely in his arms, and she felt the rhythmic bouncing as he ran. Her fingertips touched her wound while she focused on the sky and the clouds and the buildings in view in an attempt to distract herself from the pain.

The sky was replaced with a ceiling with fluorescent lights that whipped by. A jog down a long hallway and few turns later they stopped in a square shaped room. His limbs trembled as he finally set her down, and he pulled over her a glass cover.

A machine powered on and a hum accompanied her heavy breathing. The glass cover glowed blue and her pain slipped away. She let go of her wound, feeling relief. The humming stopped, and he shut the machine. Cameron touched her wound once again, and she felt flesh through a hole in her clothes. She rubbed and pressed on it, but it was no illusion. Her ailment healed.

The shaggy haired guy return into view. He opened lifted back the glass, and Cameron sat up. Again, she couldn't resist, she rubbed her wounded area. No scar either.

"It does really work," he said. "Cool, huh?"

She peered up at him. "Where am I?" She asked, looking around the room.

"You're in a hospital..."

"No, I mean where am I? Where is this city?" She didn't know how to put it. "I'm not from here" Why was he the only person here? Was he from here or was this guy like her and just showed up after drowning or...dying. "This may or may not sound crazy, but the last thing I remember is drowning in the ocean and then waking up here."

He rubbed his chin. He face flooded with understanding. "Oh, yeah, you must have come through here from the Bermuda Triangle."

"What?"

He took a chair, one of the circular chairs with wheels you find in all doctors offices and took a seat. "You heard of the Bermuda Triangle right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Well, the reason for all these unexplainable disappearances is because it's this portal into dimensions. When a plane, a boat, or even an innocent flying bird would move over a certain area of the ocean or a certain time, then there would be a storm and suck them in."

"How do you know all this?"

"Computers are everywhere, technology is more advanced, and I've been here a while." To demonstrate his point, he touched his finger to a screen in wall with images of hearts, brains, and other organs and touched the brain and a hologram of a brain projected in the air along with new floating text. He murmured to himself, "not the worst places to end up since I'm so good with them." Then he said, "we both came from the Bermuda Triangle, from Earth. We're on a planet called Osetsa."

"Osetsa," she repeated. Then she asked, "how did you get here? Do you sail too?"

"It was a plane crash. There was a storm, turbulence, and we fell into the ocean."

"That must have been terrifying."

He didn't reply. His eyes cast down with a saddened expression.

She was afraid to ask, yet she needed to know. "So, we can't go home, can we?"

His features bloomed into realization. "Actually, now that you're here, we can."

"Really?"

He stood up. "Come down with me, and I'll show you."

After walking the cold, empty hallways of the hospital, they were back in the warm sunlight on the city streets.

"We're here alone? Nobody else?"

"Yes, their human race was wiped out," he began. "You know, The Alvarez Hypothesis, claiming dinosaurs extinction was caused by the huge meteorite that crashed on earth and wiped out all living things because all debris covered the sun, so everything died?"

"Is that what happened here?"

"Yes, and it was worse because they relied so much on solar energy." He gestured to what looked to be solar panels on buildings

"They stored stuff, I'm sure."

"Energy was stored, yes, and there was scarce farmland, so action was taken to grow crops indoors, making it possible to regulate energy for crops. However, over the long period of time, with the primary source of energy cut off, and reliance on it to power everything, it soon ran out. With the little energy, it was hard to make more and thus power more." She followed his gaze to the broken windows, "So, there were riots for the limited resources. The government tried to control everyone, at first, but then there was chaos and starvation. Everyone was desperate but at the same time didn't care anymore because, well, the world seemed to be ending."

"I see, but you're able to survive here."

"Yeah, there is enough food for one person and everything is working again because the sun is back." He pointed to one of the most wrecked buildings. "Actually over there in that building they mass produced food with the imitation sunlight. I get food from there. I'll show you."

He veered off path.

"Wait, I thought you were going to show me how we could get out of here?"

He stopped in his tracks. He seemed to be mulling something over and glanced at the doors but whirled around. "Yeah, you're right."

They went back to walking and when they turned a corner, she saw a large building distinctive from the rest. It wasn't the tallest, but it was the widest and had it's own block. He pointed to that building. "There, that large building is it." He explained, " it's a government research facility and like I said before, they understand this dimension thing more and were testing a man made portal that can transfer to wherever you like."

"Really? That's amazing."

"And together we're going to break in and use the portal."

"Wow," she said, excited herself. "Now you say that though, why didn't you break in earlier?"

"I need someone to help me break in. They have extremely tight security with their drones afraid someone would try to steal their research during all the chaos."

She frowned. "Like the police drones?"

"Their larger but nothing we can't handle. I'm able to control and use them for practice, and I have weapons and shields. Actually..." he began sheepishly, "would it be alright if we swing by my place. I would like to collect some of my stuff. Also..." he peered down at his blood stained clothes. "...I doubt it would be a good idea to arrive back home with blood on your clothes."

She couldn't help but laugh at that a little. "Alright, that's fine."

His face went more serious. "Also we'll need to collect more weapons before we go to the research facility."

'Let's go then."

A few blocks later, they arrived at a hotel. They went in the lobby and rode up the elevator to the top floor.

While riding the elevators, it hit her. "I just realized. I don't know your name."

"Oh, it's, uh, it's Jackson," he replied with an uncomfortable air.

There was silence. Cameron waited for him to ask her name. He seemed polite enough, so why the lack of the simple gesture?

"My name is Cameron by the way," she added finally.

Then the doors opened, and they walked down a hall and got to double doors to a suite.

"On the bright side of being only here is you can life wherever you want," Cameron quipped.

He glanced at her from he corner of his eye and gave a small smiled. "Right." Then she noticed a flash of a self- conscious expression on his face as he opened the door.

Cameron was hit with odors. For a second, she let her face twist in disgust before suppressing it. The lights clicked on. Clothes were strewn around the ground and snacks and junk food were on the table. The television was playing.

"Sorry," he said, kicking clothes to the side. "I didn't think I would be bringing company."

He pulled open a drawer and scavenged for some clothes. He grabbed a shirt and shorts. He threw them to her and grabbed clothes of his own.

"The bathroom is over there," he nodded over to the other side of the room.

"Thank you." She turned and walked

"Hey, if you want I could get you your own room."

She thought he was joking and the gesture unnecessary. "No, that fine," she responded politely.

When she came back from the bathroom after changing and washing up a bit, he was changed in his clothes and sitting on the couch with what seemed to be more of those high tech guns on the coffee table.

When she got there, he explained. "This is a special blaster or gun that is able to shoot down law enforcement and military drones." He held it up to her, but Cameron didn't take it.

She never held a weapon before, and she was afraid to touch it. Instead. she asked, "how do you use it?"

"Well, first you take off the lock," he pointed a button sat in the back of the gun. "Then you just press this," he pointed to a trigger. "It's pretty simple."

Cameron could tell Jason read her hesitation, so he put the gun down and took something smaller from the table. She looked up and saw a framed picture on the entertainment center. She strode over while he was busy with the device. It was a picture of three people...or that is what she thought. It was a silhouette of what appeared to be family picture except it was blurry.

"What is this?" she asked

"Oh that's...my family," he answered.

Cameron glanced at the picture one more time to see if she saw the image right.

"...there is this device that can make pictures from your memory, but it was long after I arrived her, and it's hard to remember." The tone of his voice dropped, dipping with melancholy.

"You haven't seen them in a while, have you?"

He nodded and his gaze lock to his feet.

"Well, today, you'll get to see them again," said Cameron optimistically.

He only nodded again in return. He grabbed the device he was studying earlier and put it on. It was a glove. Three times he squeezed his gloved hand and then a large rectangle projected out from the palm. "Touch it," he instructed.

She found it was solid and not a hologram

"Wow," Cameron awed.

"Cool, right? It's a shield. You can use it instead of the gun."

After deactivating it, he handed her the gadget. She looked at it again and copied what he did and was surprised when it worked. She played with it, releasing and closing and with a certain motion of the fingers, made it larger and smaller. While she did this, Jackson packed his stuff.

"We should get going already," He interrupted her as he was already rushing to the door.

X

The building was massive once they were only feet away. It didn't penetrate the skies like the surrounding structures, but it stretched far down the street. They stood at front of an averaged sized double door. You could only tell it was a door though because of its rectangular outlines. No handles. No windows. There was only a circular screen on the right.

Before she could ask how they were going to break in, Jackson jumped into action. "Stand back," he ordered. They were already a sidewalk and a half a street away from the building, but he stepped back a few paces, and Cameron gave an extra yard of space.

He turned his head to her. "When I say run, we run,"

"Got it." Cameron activated her shield.

He lifted the weapon. The lasers blasted from his gun landed on the outlines of the door. Smoke steamed from the metal.

"Let's go," he demanded.

Jackson kicked down the door, and it punched the ground, revealing a lobby. They sprinted in. She followed his lead. His gun pointed. Her shield lifted. Alarms shrieked through the empty building.

Drones flew down the hall. Unlike the one's she saw on the street. They were green and twice as large. They came in clusters and the lasers shot at them.

Cameron enlarged her shield as much as she could. she protected them while Jackson was shooting them down one by one. They exploded once is lasers struck the bulky machines. When their lasers hit their shields, it felt like tapping against a fish tank's glass.

After a while of running, they finally made it to an elevator. Jackson jabbed the button and then bounded back to shooting down the drones. When they heard the it, they backed into the elevator. Jackson lowered his weapon, and she held up the shield in the front entrance until the doors closed. She shrunk the shield with the doors until they were safe behind the thick slabs of metal.

Cameron leaned against the walls and slid down, taking a break. "Good job," she panted.

"Don't get too comfortable. We have to go down one more hall and then go to a different elevator where we can get to the portal."

She nodded determinately and straightened back up.

Cameron mirrored Jackson as he pressed against the wall in case of drones in wait for them when the doors opened. None were there. They ran out of the elevator and only when they got around the corner, they saw more. They resumed their previous strategy until they made it to the second elevator.

When the doors closed again, they both sunk down.

"That wasn't bad as I thought," Cameron commented.

Jackson only responded with a "mhmm", and he didn't make eye contact, staring at his lap.

Cameron was worried for him. She asked, "hey, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" She leaned forward, examining him.

"No, I'm fine," he said dismissively, and she recoiled.

For the rest of the ride, they waited in anticipated silence for the floor number to count down to B6.

The elevator doors opened to an upper level platform. When they entered the large room, the metal clanked under her feet. Beyond the metal bars that separated the lower level, there was an expansive wall with a mural of flowing thick wires and pipes. To the right, between an opening of the bars there was a narrower platform that extended over the first level.

Cameron walked to the edge, placing her hands on the bars and peered down. Below, only a few yards, there was a pool of water. She was able to see her reflection in the water but noticed Jackson had gone, and she turned to look for him.

"Hey, over here," Jackson said.

She made an 180 degree turn. Jackson was climbing up a spiral staircase to a booth above. She followed him and found herself in a small control room. There was a window that gave view of the pool and right under it was a long control panel. Two stools were set beside it and by the stools, a stand held a book the size of a dictionary. On the other side of the room, a helmet which was attached by thick tubes sat on a square table.

"Take a seat," he ordered.

She sat down. Jackson didn't sit. He opened the book on the stand and flipped through it. Cameron tried to read it over his shoulder, but the print was miniscule. All she could make out once he found a page were the long lines of numbers listed by a word. Jackson began pressing numbers on a keypad, checking the opened book before resuming again. Then he went by the table, and she heard him pick the helmet up but was surprised when he placed it on her head.

"What is this?" she asked.

"You use the helmet to open up the portal with your mind."

"'With my mind? That's crazy."

He flicked a switch on the helmet, and hummed to life. Cameron was relieved it didn't vibrate.

"All you need to do is look out into the water and focus."

"Focus on what?"

"Focus on the portal opening. Focus on...making a whirlpool."

She never really seen a whirlpool before. So she started with tornados then imagined them in water. She stared out into the pool trying to focus. Miraculously she could've sworn she saw the water circling beneath her, but whatever she saw died quickly once she thought about how it would lead to home. No! After the third time the water stilled again, she forced herself to think about whirlpools, only whirlpools, only the twirling, swirling of whirlpools.

When her mind was just feeling like a squished sponge, the whirlpool materialized in full form. The water was in high motion whirling and whirling around and flickers of light sparked on the water. Her heart soared, but she forced her mind to remain focused. Now that she had it opened, she wondered what next, but as this crossed her mind, the portal died down, and she resumed her thoughts back to whirlpools

Then she saw Jackson sprint across the extended platform as fast as a shooting star, throwing himself into the water. For a moment, he was spinning with the water, but with a flash of the blue light he disappeared.

Her thoughts halted along with the portal. It took a moment to process what just happened. Was that Jason? Did he just leave?

She threw off the helmet and ran down the stairs. "Jason," she cried out. "Jason!" But there was no response.

She dashed back upstairs. She couldn't fully comprehend what just happened. Did he just leave her? No explanation. No goodbye. She ran back to the controls. She needed to go back home too!

She found the helmet on the floor and put it back on. It took her longer to refocus and recreate the whirlpool, but once it materialized, she ran to the portal only to be restrained by the tubes. She took the helmet off the but whirlpool vanished. She tried many variations of this plan over and over again.

She hurled the helmet on the floor, panting from trying to race to the portal back to control room.

She finally understood the reality. That bastard! She banged her fists against floor. It hurt, but she ignored it. This couldn't be the end. She protected him. She opened the portal. She did nothing wrong. They were a team.

But he abandoned her.

She felt scared and panicked like a child lost. She didn't know what do to do. She was in a world she did not know.

She got to her feet and sprinted. She ran harder and faster than Jackson to that platform, to the pool of water. She couldn't get their fast enough.

It was only four feet and her body absorbed a wave of shock when her feet collided with ground. She spun herself in the water mimicking the motion of the whirlpool. She must have looked retarded, but it didn't matter. She was desperate.

Quickly she found herself exhausted. She stopped and just floated in the water. This time really giving up. She was wet again and crying alone, knowing if she'd want to go home, she would have to commit the same betrayal.


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76 Reviews


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Reviews: 76

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Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:48 pm
Dest wrote a review...



Okay, first...

To Cameron, getting caught in a storm was like of falling in love. Storms were exhilarating and hoarded every inch of her attention and energy. It could be seen from a distance or spontaneous. They made the journey feel like adventures, and then, the intensity would die down, or it would blow someplace else. However, falling in love doesn't conventionally bring the prospect of death.


I liked that paragraph very much. Very much. As far as the story, I thought it was good. I hadn't expected Jackson to behave the way he did, but I guess he was desperate. The ending felt like a cliff hanger as if a chapter two would magically appear. *hint hint*

She felt scared and panicked like a child lost. She didn't know what do to do. She was in a world she did not know.

She got to her feet and sprinted. She ran harder and faster than Jackson to that platform, to the pool of water. She couldn't get their fast enough.


Sometimes, your wording is a bit choppy and could benefit from conjunctions or re-wording. Another time this happened:"This couldn't be the end. She protected him. She opened the portal. She did nothing wrong. They were a team."

Keep writing! :D




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558 Reviews


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Sat Jan 07, 2017 10:03 pm
erilea wrote a review...



Hey, Redbox275! Lupa here for a review! :D Let's start...

1) "So when they hit a storm, on a perfectly beautiful day, mythological myths were the last thing on her mind." "Mythological myths" is very repetitive, and your reader doesn't need the word "myths" reinforced in their mind. Just one "myths" is fine.

2) There's a lot of grammatical mistakes in there. Simple stuff, like saying "their" instead of "they're." You can use something like grammarly or even Microsoft Word to fix these; they'll pick your mistakes out for you to fix them.

3) The idea of your story is really good and interesting, but I feel like the title gives the ending away. By reading the title and a little bit of the story, the reader can deduce that Cameron is going to be stranded on Osetsa. You can just call it "Osetsa" or something less revealing.

4) Throughout the story, you repeatedly confuse Jackson's name. Sometimes you call him Jackson, sometimes Jason. Which one is it? :P

Overall, your story is good, but your grammar could use a fine-toothed comb. Keep writing and improving!

XOX,
Lupa22




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Points: 48
Reviews: 4

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Mon Jan 02, 2017 3:28 am
20JPorter wrote a review...



This is a great story! I love Sci-Fi, so that's a bit of a personal plus, but a great set-up, setting, and twist combined to make an amazing story. I like how she realized at the end that betrayal was the only way out, making Jackson's actions justified. I feel like she was irrealistic by just jumping in a random plan too quickly, not caring about her surroundings and if to trust Jackson (after all, he was being chased by police drones). This would make a good start for some other stories.




Redbox275 says...


Thank you for the review
I should have been more clear that he uses the police drones as practice to fight the drones in the research facility.




Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
— Søren Kierkegaard