electricbluemonkey

Honestly, I think the reason nobody's read this is 1) because of the strange title and 2) because its so fat and bulky. Yes, you've heard it right, weight discrimination ...

Really not impressed. Not even close to anything else you've written. The spacing isn't ingenious and doesn't really make sense, but I guess it's "art" and shouldn't be questioned. What ...

"Terra firma" Good beginning, really grabbed me. you whispered, as our sailboat came to earth sails flapping wildly as the hull scraped the beach; And my skirt was drenched with ...

Ooh, nice, Dan. Really, and it actually has a message, too. I don't really like the sentence lengths (last couple of sentences). They just seem really cocnfusing, and totally destroy ...

That wasn't too bad, but confusing at times. It's missing some apostrophes in some places though, and the "..." are annoying to read. "So I will sit and wait until ...

KayJ already got to mostly everything, but this was awesome, Brad. Interesting and entertaining read. Damn good ending too. He wears jeans, a white T-shirt, black paratrooper boots and a ...

Whoa, freaky. But good nonetheless. It'd be much more interesting if it was made slightly longer, and more answers need to be given. It'd show more of your ability as ...

Are you trying to follow a rhyming pattern here (A, B, C, B)? I accept my fate, While I sit alone. Let the tears come, If my life is gone. ...

Whoa, it sounds like a warning or something. "Be careful of the Abercrombie girls!" But I guess thats a good thing, right? Anywho... They are the abercrombie girls. They consider ...

That was an okay poem. It needs some work in the rhyming, and the fourth stanza doesn't really follow it. My number 1 edit would be to kind of put ...

Eh, that was pretty blocky and the look (i.e. the difference in line lengths) of it warned me it would be pretty bad, but it wasn't. That was great, and ...

Yep, that was...not your best Liz. It seemed like something that was put together in 2 minutes. If you had taken more time on it and adjusted the pace and ...

That was very good. It didn't really open my mind as to see the real world though. I don't know why, but it just seemed to be missing something. But ...

I agree. The whole phrases and lines were just too short. It seemed more like a narrative poem than a story. I think that stuff here is just happening way ...

*Shrugs* I guess that was kind of good, very, very, VERY confusing. I basically didn't understand any of it. You need more punctuation. Punctuation is your friend. It IS your ...