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  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, General Re: Chapter 3: The Fly and the Skunk

    Hi there! I enjoyed this story because of the pun filled names you chose for your characters. I think it lightens the mood, making it a whodunnit with a comedic ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Supernatural Re: Jasper Loom: Mr gravity

    Jasper loved his nicknames, his mum often stressed to him the sad fact that he had no friends was up to the reason that every time he stumbled across a ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: Anomaly: Chapter 1.2

    Hi Traunt, Lets begin! Am I the only one getting a bad feeling about Hanah? Not sure why, you haven't given us any hints that Hanah is bad news. But ...

    Oct 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: Anomaly: Chapter 1.1

    Hi Traunt! Good job! You've created an intriguing character with secret friendships and mysterious powers. you've given me as a reader good reasons to turn the page to find out ...

    Oct 15, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Realistic Re: Jenkins' Law, Chapter 2

    Wow, this is awesome! And you tell me you came up with the idea for the case yourself! It was engaging, with a very clear sense of the direction it ...

    Sep 18, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Realistic Re: Jenkins' Law, Chapter 1

    Heeeeey Sky :-D You've got a good story going here! I am usually not into law type stories, but you have characterised Jenkins well. I liked the power play between ...

    Sep 18, 2014
  • Lyrics » Romantic, Narrative Re: I Feel So...

    Hey Sky! I don't often review songs - ahem - I've never reviewed a song actually, but I'll give it a whirl! Firstly, you've got a beautiful voice, definitely feeling ...

    Sep 10, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: untitled

    Hello! You've got a very descriptive start here! I could picture the scene quite vividly. You also successfully escaped the genderless trap that writers fall into when writing first person ...

    Sep 9, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Things Fall Apart: Chapter Seven: Asteria's First Day

    Yay, the parents have arrived! You can ignore my note about their absence in a previous critique. Except, I do think you could have mentioned them in earlier chapters, even ...

    Sep 8, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Fantasy Re: Dark Ones (Chapter 1)

    He watched his twin sister sleep, her chest rising and falling in a soothing rhythm..... ....His sister's name is Adriana Lily Potter, but he calls her Adri. She has Auburn ...

    Sep 7, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: Things Fall Apart: Chapter Six: One Direction and The Voice

    Hi! Good work here, we get Frey's point of view, and we get to get a dose of their main environment, the school they attend. I like how descriptive you ...

    Sep 7, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Holiday Madness

    I love this! The structure of the poem is very tidy, the rhymes work well without betraying the meaning of the poem, and the topic is very modern and relatable. ...

    Sep 5, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: Things Fall Apart: Chapter Five: Glowing Stars in a Blind Girl's Room

    I love these descriptions. You have quite a heightened attention to detail, and there is a hint of quiet tragedy, which is good, as it provides a contrast to the ...

    Sep 5, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The stage

    Hello eve! I like your story concept, your premise, and the way that you have chosen to write it, switching between the two scenes, present and past, and back to ...

    Sep 5, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Dramatic, Teen Fiction Re: The Epidemic: Chapter 1

    Hi Legend! You've got a good concept here, an epic disaster which changes everything will always be a topic of fascination because it taps into a common fear. That said, ...

    Sep 4, 2014


"People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people."
— V for Vendetta