dannyr122

I have one minor problem with this brilliant poem. “Can nobody hear me?” I shouted “Can nobody hear me?” I screamed . And the world moved on in its deafness ...

Firstly I am sorry to say this poem wasn't really for me. The main problem i can see is that you were trying so hard to make it rhyme some ...

Your story is very good and i like your idea but there are a few errors i think could do with fixing. just kids messing with his head, trying to ...

I like the poem. Very emotional. I just want to point out one or two little errors to make it perfect. Like a lone ship out to see see should ...

I also don't think it was a short story and rather a descriptive piece but one thing i did like that kept it interesting for me was the use of ...

I want to start by saying the story and idea are amazing and i think this could be a great poem. But it is let down by one or two ...

I agree with kirstybree that the first stansa makes the poem a hell of a lot more comlicated than a poem of this style should be. I also think some ...

The first thing to do is explain what you are actually talking about in the poem. What is the invisible enemy and what are you trying to say. The poem ...

I have to agree with Blink Lonely bones of old maids rumble into empty graves The first two lines make it seem like it will rhyme and when it doesn't ...

What the hell are you going on about? What is this ultraphone that you speak of. You don't explain that and you simply tell us some things it does. I ...

Nice poem but there are two things i would like to point out. good and bad This sentence doesn't fit with the description and in my eyes doesn't make sense. ...

By a break up or a unshared love It should be an unshared love (hate to be picky but i can find so little wrong with this poem) Others think ...

Apart from the million mistakes with grammer and spelling, the story isn't half bad. However, as i am picky i want to bring up a few points. After a very ...

Like the other i have little to say about this poem. It is a poem which doesn't call out to me at all but i definately don't hate it. It ...

To be honest this piece was not good in my opinion and didn't really do anything for me. I disliked the mistakes and odd sentences and these detracted from the ...