I always seem to submit my poems into this category, cause I never know where they belong...This is something I wrote after my grandparents died, just kind of letting emotions flow.
Take a chainsaw to it!
A polished rock stands
On a hillside gently sloping
Like a lone ship out to sea
Quietly rocking against waves of green.
Spring has given birth
To new life, new colors
How utterly ironic,
In a place where neither belong.
Seasons change; a guarantee,
Grass turns crisp and leaves fall amber,
And then again, resurrected,
A second chance in a constant cycle.
This stone, though, will never die.
Yet neither will it live,
The wrong sentiment
For this reality.
Tracing fingers against
Cool, hard stone
An unfitting symbol
For those it represents.
Similarities stop,
For stone has no hope,
Thank God that blood
Gives chance for rebirth.
I don't have a good title, any ideas? Review, Please and Thank You!!
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I like the poem. Very emotional. I just want to point out one or two little errors to make it perfect.
see should be sea as the boat is on the ocean and you have used the word for catch sight of.
Now that i look through again that is actually the only error in the whole piece. I like how you personify the rock and you are very talented.
Keep up with the poetry.
I like the poem. Very emotional. I just want to point out one or two little errors to make it perfect.
see should be sea as the boat is on the ocean and you have used the word for catch sight of.
Now that i look through again that is actually the only error in the whole piece. I like how you personify the rock and you are very talented.
Keep up with the poetry.
Sweet, no one worth mentioning would take a chainsaw to something you wrote from the bottom of your heart. You did a fine job describing life's futility and rebirth, the annalogy with the stone was just right. As for the title, may I suggest that it remain untitled? There are some things that you cannot put a single name to. I am very sorry for your loss. I know how it feels to loose someone you love, but, in their death, there is rebirth. This poem is proof of that. You honor their memories.
Even if you hadn't said that you wrote it after your grandparents had died I still would have been able to get that you were obviously a bit upset or depressed whilst writing this. Despite that though, it was a good poem, there was feeling behind it and I love that in poetry