I want to start by saying the story and idea are amazing and i think this could be a great poem. But it is let down by one or two minor points. One is some of the language you choose and another is rhythm of some of the lines.
But this cat was extremely calm
And she stood completely still
That neither ears nor tail moved
So Ray, with fear his eyes did fill.
This section here is good in terms of the story but worded oddly. 'That neither ears or tail moved' is odd to say and i think the two last lines would work better by firstly taking out the that as i think it doesnt work at all. It wouldnt fit in that sentence and the sentence isnt correct with it in. It sounds just as good without it and makes more sense. The last line needs word order changing slightly to make it flow and sound better.
There are one or two other bits like this but over all the poem is very good.
Well done.
Points: 1090
Reviews: 19
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