convintojm

i thought the writing was really simple and so i foudn it to be uninteresting. i didn't believe the characters either because what defined them was too simple. in addition ...

A little simple and i think a lot of people will feel like yeah i've heard it a million times but i think you also added a little fresh imagery ...

It's really simple and general and left no lasting impression on me at all. I got to the end and had no concrete feelings toward it. i think it woudl ...

some ideas are kinda fresh and interesting but i also found a few stanzas a bit trite. i think it would be a pretty good poem if they were all ...

i too think you need to expand upon it. you've got what you want to say outlined and that's good because soemtimes it can be difficult to know what you ...

seems too much like an unedited journal entry and that's not working for me. plus there's almost too many specifics that it's hard to connect to. it's interesting though and ...

for the most part it was really good but i hate hearing about girls who want to be thin it's bordering on cliche at this point even though i realize ...

i agree with galatea's comments and strongly suggest you consider at least most of them. other than that it didn't really grab me. i got to the end and i'm ...

i like it, but i'm not sure about the two ands in the last bit i think a comma or without and or the comma woudl be better (i know ...

honestly i think it sounds like you really don't know how truly horrifying war can be. the poem is too light to truly contain the degree of emotion that should ...

honestly i think it could stand to be shorter. though pain and grief are very complicated i find often the longer someone goes on about it the less poignant it ...

i liked it. for some reason it struck me that you used her mother's money instead of a father not that i don't like it it just struck me as ...

i think the revision was an improvement but i guess this very inexpereinced feel off your work which is perfectly ok if you're new. i knew it took me months ...

i like how the first few lines set you up to think it's something very simple and light but then you reveal a deeper thought. though i'm not sure i ...