Published July 6, 2005
If anyone can think of a title for this poem I'd be grateful.
I may not be the first person in your mind,
Nor the person closest to your heart,
But I am the person who will
Always be a friend
Until the end of time.
Let me know what you think, I'm not the greatest poet it the Galaxy.
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I wanted to have something short as I hate writing long poetry because it gets a little boring.
Thanks for the comments anyway.
i too think you need to expand upon it. you've got what you want to say outlined and that's good because soemtimes it can be difficult to know what you want to express but i think by adding to it and being descriptive and specfic you could turn it into something better.
I thought your poem wasreally good it would have been better if it was a bit longer i suppose but it is diffently :thumb: up for me.
Far too short. I can tell it's heart-felt and very real. But what it needs is for you to explore the realtionship a little more. Use images and metephore, give examples, so the reader can properly see and understand the feelings you are expressing.