abelgaiya

Uhm, I think you have an excellent plot right there. But, this story which is written in just 9 sentences and 6 lines would be able to fill a whole ...

This was very good, except for the glitch at the beginning. You say you can see them, and then in the next sentence, instead of indicating 'them', you started talking ...

For a first job on this site, I see hope for marvelous works in the future. Even though I was busy noticing the homogenous 0grammatical errors, I could not help ...

This isn't really an interesting prologue. There is nothing that stands out in this story. It's just a plain normal family having lunch. You could have extended it, or infused ...

Hello. Abel here to review. The plot is very interesting and even more appealing at the end. Ending it with a beginning of a sequel was a nice touch. I ...

As brusque as this was, it indeed told us a full (or almost full) story. I can't find anything thing wrong with the piece except that you mispelt the word ...

I like this text a lot. The emotions and sympathetic condition of the prisoner were finely put. You placing of the events are sequential and organized. The expressions you used ...

Hello there. I like (not love) this text, but it needs a lot more than simple words to make it enjoyable for real literature readers. Here's my first problem: You ...

Okay, this seems like just a simple text, and so there's nothing much to say about it. I like your use of words, the flow of words, the rigidity of ...

It's a nice piece, although I don't think you made it empathic. It's plain story without the embellishments of expressions and sufficient descriptions. In fact, nothing in this story was ...

Confusing, yet interesting. I'm left pondering over the nature of the place the scene take place in. I also think whether the characters are dead. To be honest, I was ...

Hello, I'm here to review. The story's pretty nice, with a great touch of infantile frolic at the beginning. I'm not sure if I like the way you portrayed the ...

Wow, this was really intense. I was able to visualize every scene with impeccable detail, thanks to your descriptions. I don't believe there's anything to criticize here. The technique, the ...

Hey Cuppi, welcome to YWS! I'm Abel, and I'm here to review your work. I think you have a nice creepy story. But you went too fast; you didn't create ...

Hey, This is a great story. However, there are two things I'd like to point out: 1. The waiter being rude because of the American's taste: You made the waiter ...