I stand here watching my city burn. Smoke curls out of every crevice and crack in the stone, snaking up into the sky to be swept away by the wind that fans the flames. Shrieks, cries, and screams can be heard from miles away as people of all ages try to claw their way out of what must now, surely be, the equivalent of a stifling oven. The centuries-old caverns and narrowed tunnels that guarded the caves from attack for years, have now become the suppressors of escape, trapping thousands of panicked people underground.
Eyes scanning the survivors who've managed to climb to freedom, I see very few familiar faces. One notices me though and I can see him calling my name.
"Help us!" He yelled. "Help them!"
I feel nothing. Only a cold emptiness as I shake my head, turn, and walk away. The tall hill rises up behind me, blocking the cave from my view, but the smoke continues to rise, the people continue to scream, and I know that I will never be able to forget.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, isn't that a properly horrifying note to start a prologue on, the description of city slowly being destroyed and succumbing to these flames..and of course the extra touch of how a city built with escape routes to aid in defence, trapping its citizens underground as the flames turn the escape route into...just...yeah...a horrible end for anyone unlucky enough to be there. Well, this certainly gets your attention here at the start of this prologue, a properly horrifying image her to get things underway.
Hmm, well that's interesting, it looks like out protagonist is actually on scene and not a narrator and they've just been asked to help, well, this certainly got even more interesting now, especially depending on what the protagonist does next considering there are even a few familiar faces among the survivors.
Ooooh, well that was a very interesting decision on the part of our protagonist there...oh wow, well, that opens up sooo many questions as to what the context behind all of this could possibly be for someone to abandon so many people that they can actually help...and leave them all to perish...not to mention it sounds like there's going to be guilt involved as well. Well..this certainly opens up soo many questions on our part here...and I'd say this is a pretty good prologue here, one for a story that I'd read.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey there, I'm here to review!
My name is Quest, Omni is you're old, and I will be reviewing your work for you, even though it is short, because is it Review Day, and your work is in the Green Room. Two birds with one stone, as they say.
Since this is short, I will be quoting your entire work, and my input will be in italics. So, enough chit chatting, I will be start with the review part of this review.
So, I liked this prologue, and I hope you post the next installment of this!
Hope this helped,
Quest
Ah, thank you very much for your review, it was very helpful! I'm honored that you enjoyed it!
Okay, this seems like just a simple text, and so there's nothing much to say about it.
I like your use of words, the flow of words, the rigidity of the expresiions and the sequential smoothness of the story.
I have to commend you especially on the replacement of direct descriptives with oblique -yet simple - expeessions; E.g. 'The tall hill rises up behind me...'
You have the style of a true artist and I applaud you for that.
Cheers!
Thank you for your kind words, they really meant a lot to me! From what you said, I actually really enjoy your own writing style. I'll definitely have to check out your posts!