Via

I have to agree that this is very good for a first poem! I'm impressed. However, I also have to mention a few negatives... As previously mentioned, your 'i' in ...

Mmmm...lets see. I think the main problem with this is the words. I mean, how wordy it is haha...that sounded bad at first. There are just too many filler words...a, ...

Jammie, I have to agree with Dream above. It starts out well...but it isn't long before the wording takes over. It is very good though, for a first poem post. ...

We struggle through the dirt with exhaustion. All coughing with pain as we move along. Pushing and shoving away from the battle, Avoiding flames and shells, to get back to ...

I think you need to be more descriptive. It's just kind of "he did this, and they did that, and then they went here, and did that". You go through ...

It's just kind of....boring. Like previously stated...it's cliche. It's just so...blah. I almost feel like I've read this exact thing somewhere else. [But...this is the hard part of poetry: being ...

I really really really do like this poem. Like Brad said, it's awesome that it has some meaning out of the norm for this site. However...I have a small problem ...

Again, I have to agree with the harsh Brad. Although I feel like a jerk when I do that haha. I feel like....well like this is an email that you ...

Even if your life seems perfect, The battle is not done. For the war to lead a carefree life Is a fight the can't be won. YOUR? You went from ...

Unfortunately, I have to agree with Brad on this one. On some points, anyway. It's a nice thought. Really, it is. But guess what... everyone has this thought. It's boring, ...

I agree with the above reply....your poem is kind of all over the place. It's nice to leave things a little untied so the reader can make what they will ...

I really really do like this. It does touch many people to read it...this seems to be something that happens to most everyone during at some point in their lives. ...

I think I get what it is you are trying to portray through this writing...but I'm fairly certain it doesn't happen within the poem. I, as well, am not quite ...