cymbeline_x wrote:In the Absence of Love
When I look into your eyes and see nothing
but the reflected skywhen I hold your restless hands and feel only
the urge to fly away
When even in your dreams
there is no comfortI cannot reach you, I cannotfind you, I cannot understand
I hear voices at night
amongst the soft, [color=red]carnivalistic shadows
I see white doves falling
and metronomes swinging and
I am afraid to wait for you
to watch the world
pass me by
I am afraid of the distance[/color]
The bits I underlined I actually really liked. I liked the way that they work with the poem and flow well.
![Very Happy :D](./images/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif)
The bits in italics (the repaetition) I didn't like because it stops the flow and makes those particualr words jut out
![Confused :?](./images/smilies/icon_confused.gif)
The word highlighted in red "carnivalistic" I google searched it and I couldn't find any definitions? Is it actually a word and if so what does it mean?
Well done though, I liked this piece a lot.
Lexy x
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