Threnody

You're not done. Does that mean I shouldn't review it yet? Oh well. Too late. All the time spent for thee was wasted, you ugly bitch; hope you'll die before ...

My friends seem to be walking away, Like leaves in winter, they appear to shed. Instead of lying on bed all day, I'd rather just be dead. • Should "on" ...

that your eyes now pierce chartreuse as they dilate in the shape of sickly smiles. Razorblades; laughing; gleaming. They are everywhere. • The word "That" to start the stanza is ...

There was a time when unhappy we were. I tried so hard to get her but she left me only this rhyme. • Second line: Um. Sounds a bit "hillbilly" ...

living in a world in which i want to disappear fade away into the shadows of misery pain is something that was welcome in my heart • Please capitalize your ...

Precious blackbird Sleep my baby blackbird, Sleep till the new dawn. I don't think "new" is necessary before "dawn." It definitely disrupts the flow. --- Otherwise, I think this poem ...

Hello WritewatIwant, here's your review. Corrections are in bold. You see darkness and regrets. Tears, both hers and yours. You're both battling, your inside wars. I like this first stanza. ...

Oh, how I dearly miss my maiden’s lips, So soft, perfect, I remember they were. Alice - she took my flowers in small sips Add a hyphen between Alice and ...

Every night I lie awake And stare at the starry sky Wishing your death was fake But I only make myself cry This is a good introduction to the poem. ...

One day I take a little sip And drunk in more and more Left the bartender a little tip And off crazy to the core The second stanza is a ...

Trapped always behind my bars Forced to gain the brand new scars Hate seeing into my mirror shards Break myself at these jail bars I suggest taking out the word ...

They are cold in photographs -- what springs they could wither in life! Screaming out like drowning people, hope in waters too cold , but for dormant fish, they'll pull ...

Hello! Nice to meet you! Here's your review.~ The distant thrum of electricity is the only sound accompanying my hurried footsteps as I walk ever closer to my reeking destination. ...

I don't think you should be complaining on a fully opinionated thread. It's not the person's fault that they dislike a book you enjoyed. It's all what they thought. Not ...

Hello tennis princess! Nice to meet you! Now onto your poem. Here's just some comments I've written. In bold. in sunlit shadow rooms, thinking well of you. Did I really ...